It’s been three weeks since I realized I was no longer comfortable juggling numerous relationships and social or civic commitments. I decide to retreat back to live on the margins of life. I have been slowly extracting myself ever since.
I did this by announcing my intention, along with a promise to keep all previously made commitments. It’s been rocky ever since. I’ve kept myself together by remembering that after this weekend, I would be in the clear.
Yesterday, the kid band that my husband and I put together had their performance. It went remarkably well. In my wildest dreams we’d have been so well received, but this is exactly what happened. We received thunderous applause and I was mauled on the way out. People were incredibly happy. This is what I told the kids we were meant to do.
“We’re going to wake everyone up! We’re not playin’, okay? You are to get out there and inspire these people. Don’t you dare waste this opportunity. We’re not little mice, you know. Every single one of you is necessary. You’ve part of this. It’s your chance to get out there and take charge. From the minute we walk out there, we’re runnin’ it and don’t you forget it. We do this right, they won’t know what hit them…”
The kids accomplished this, there can be no denyin’. These are little kids by the way. Several of them are like…six years old? We didn’t just kill, we slaughtered and now I don’t know what to do.
Obviously the kids want to do this again and do more of it. Kids and parents and grandparents of kids who were not involved, now want to be involved. Who doesn’t want to see their kid, happy, empowered and in command?
But I’m not kidding about the retreating thing. My life (my transits) demand it, so now it’s just..arrrrgh. My Leo side sees nothing wrong with going out on top!
So now I’m where I want to be. My full focus will go into my class, which is a great Saturn transit the 12th activity. It’s cloistered work; natural and comfortable to me.
*The picture is of me, taken the last time Saturn transiting my 12th house. I feel very similar now to how I did then. There is a dog in my lap. We had the same hair. I worked ten or twelve hours a day back then. Came home to house in the country and contemplated things.
I had Saturn in 12th house when it was back in Cancer, 2003-2005. I didn’t know anything about astrology back then and was just 20ish, not so much experience of life cycles under my belt, let’s say. But instead of retreating from life, as Elsa is doing, all my friends and all my activities LEFT ME. I had a lot of time alone to contemplate and ended up writing a book. Lots of yoga and meditation. I didn’t embrace it though and at first I was really upset. Felt like I had no one in my life and I was a pariah. Of course, it all turned out just fine.
Elsa, you’re wise to listen to yourself now. If you don’t enact these changes, they will be enacted for you. This is what astrology is for: when you know the tide is going out, you act accordingly.
As for the kids, you empowered them exactly so they could go on and create things for themselves. They will step up for themselves – now or in the near or distant future, whenever they’re ready. But they won’t be as afraid or uncertain as they might of been,now that they’ve seen and experienced how it’s done. They’ve had a taste of or hard work leads to success. Once you’ve had a taste of success, it’s hard to leave it be.
Saturn through the 12th is a rough time for many. Many things end, and then you will re-create yourself.
You have no idea what you have given these kids. Since they are clamoring for more, let’s hope that someone new picks up where you left off.
When my daughter was in school, she got to work with a wonderful drama coach and it changed her life. She has now, after raising her kids, returned to acting, doing commercials and small films at this late date! You have changed some lives and that will never leave them. Good job!
Well, people are emailing around today and they can definitely continue without me. The whole idea of this (stated) was to train my replacement. Seriously. I’m going to get older. Eventually I won’t be able to do this, so you want to show as many people as possible how it’s done.
As for quitting, I will stay out of this, unless they want to provide me an opportunity to help the kids I was not able to reach (shy kids, scared kids, sensitive kids), become part of this.
I have offered to work with these kids independently or even one on one until they felt confident to join the group.
Basically, my mission (and my husband’s mission) was to give these kids a chance to have some fun. It grew dramatically in the two months we’ve worked on this. Other agendas are involved now. I’m either uninterested or no aptitude for the other agendas. But I would never say no, if I could help some kid to overcome some kind of fear or awkwardness.
I am also interested in expanding / involving more kids. I would like to have a flash mob of kids. But the group is focused otherwise at this time. If it’s supposed to come back to me, it will. But my husband and I have another idea, non-musical, we can do with a bunch of kids. This would serve a different population. For example one of them is interested in business. We are thinking about introducing some new kind of fundraising (charity). She can be in charge, see? She’s 16 and she’s made it clear she wants to go this. So we may work on that.
My part would probably be cooking with the kids; something we’d sell.
These are skills, right? These are the kinds of things that help a kid a lot more than a new phone. You have to invest in them. Put in the time!
Sounds to me like you did a wonderful job of inspiring others yet again this time it was Children and parents. That is fantastic!
Elsa, I think you look incredibly beautiful, almost ethereal in that picture.
It’s so moving what you’re doing for those kids, inspiring and uplifting them in the way you are. What a blessing you and your husband have been to them.
I am on the tail end of a 12th house Saturn transit. Saturn is now conjunct my ascendant and will creep back into the 12th for a little bit before it moves back into my 1st house next year. I feel like I have been hiding under a rock for the past 2-3 years. Hidden and frankly, glad to be so. Dealing with stuff I thought I had gotten through (grief, trauma, and the results.) I felt like I could not compromise my energy for any nonsense or anything that isn’t going to help with my own clarity, because I was/am dealing with stuff that makes me unable to hit the throttle. It can feel weary occasionally but retreat and dealing with your sh*t (whatever it is,) and then finally honestly try letting it go is the only way out.
I do feel a bit more energy now and I am ready to get moving, but it’s slightly foggy and I’m moving slowly.
As for your work with the kids, my daughter is in that age group and their enthusiasm is awesome! Wonderful and inspiring job, Elsa!
WOW. So few people inspire kids this way now to feel powerful and significant.
Id love to do or motivate like that
Dear Elsa, A while back you had said that you planted 50 plus tomato plants. Along with a bunch of other vegetables. Tomato plants typically produce hundreds of tomatoes. At the time I thought, “WTF”?! It’s just you and your husband. Is Elsa planning on opening a “pasta sauce manufacturing operation”?
Today you wrote, “My part would probably be cooking with the kids; something we’d sell.” Best wishes on whatever your plans are. Char
I explained the number of tomato plants in another newsletter…I have about 75 now. And 30 pepper plants of different kinds, etc. on and on. 8 eggplant plants…watermelon, cantaloupe, honeydew…though I don’t really eat melon. Maybe a couple cantaloupe a year..
I do this because I enjoy it. I give the food away.
But yeah. We could be saving money on groceries if we put that idea into action.
PS, I do make and can sauce, also tomato soup and when I get seriously drowning in tomatoes, I dry them; one huge batch a day. I store the dried tomatoes in gallon bags in my freezer.
I brought some like that from Colorado, ‘cross the country. They keep really well that way. I use them all the time.
Elsa – do you see the work you did with these kids in building them up as a group/community was the fulfilment of your Saturn in 11H transit?
Not really. I quit a committee and another group I was involved in. I have also let go of some friends, either because they let go of me, or in other cases, it’s related to the personal problem I’ve having. There is just no path forward, socially. Life is taking me in another direction. It’s outside my sphere of control.
What a nice picture.
Thank you!