Growing To Understand Yourself

turtleI am planning to visit an older lady who is ill and lonely. In discussing this, someone asked if I would like someone to come with me to visit. I surprised myself by responding, “No thank you. I’m a bit of a loner.”

I sent the email but wondered if what I said was true.  I definitely wanted to go meet this gal by myself. Will we get along? I want to find out if this is something I can do regularly.  Will she be clingy? Intellectual?

The person who told me about her felt we’d hit it off. You can see how putting a third person in the equation might muddy things. I would also have less control.

I do love to be free and independent. If I met a third person, I would have to adjust to their timing. What if they’re a turtle? What if they’re clingy?  So am I a loner?

In pondering this, I searched around. There are a lot of published quotes made by (supposed) loners.  I relate to them, mildly, which is not saying much.

I searched this blog and found this post from several months ago. It’s a bit embarrassing.  Someone had characterized me a loner at that time. It’s appears I’m wearing the tag.

Are You A Loner?

I have Venus square Neptune and Saturn transiting my 12th. I’m also mutable; it’s easy to see how this could happen.

I’ve mulled this around for awhile now. I think I really am a loner. I don’t want to be. I love hosting dinners. I love going to lunch with friends and I love travel or at least I used to.

It makes me wonder if I am a loner at the moment due to transits or if I am just finding out who I really am, when everything is stripped away.

I believe it’s the latter and I believe I am going to embrace this at this point. The fact is, I am turning into, Henry, and nothing can stop it.

Are you growing in self-understanding? Does astrology help?

14 thoughts on “Growing To Understand Yourself”

  1. As I get into meditating more & finding my true self I feel I like to be alone more. I am either alone or with a lot of people it seems like there’s no in between. I am very social & like to have the option to socialize all the time but lately – the past month- all I’ve been wanting to do is sleep/ meditate alone. Could be a transit or just all my issues putting me down because it is unlike me to be a loner

  2. I don’t think it makes you a loner, just because you like to perform tasks independently… nor do I think being a loner is a bad thing. I’m very similar, but I think of myself as an introvert. I’m not shy, and I do enjoy people… it’s just that I receive my energy from within, rather than from without. I therefore prefer to perform most tasks by myself, without interference from others. I can then put all my energy into the task at hand and not into working with another person’s perspective, which I may or may not agree with. Compromise does not always make for good outcomes.

    As for your last questions, we grow in understanding of ourselves as we grow older, because we become tired of selling ourselves short to please others. We begin to intuit what makes us happy and what does not, and whether it’s worth it to compromise our self-respect to please the people in our lives. We become more judicious about the sacrifices we make.

    We spend our entire lives TRANSFORMING. In fact, it’s all we ever do! Astrology may provide the potential, but we always have free will.

    So my advice to anyone that will listen is that if you make decisions that transform yourself into someone with whom you’re comfortable, and you will find your own peace of mind. RANT OVER.

  3. I can be comfortable being alone. However I do enjoy watching a crowd , I love the high energy. Now if I am engaged in conversation I prefer one on one. I don’t like the distraction of the extra person. I want to be completely focused on the conversation and the persons facial expressions.Scorpio sun.

  4. i’m not really a loner in that sense. if that were me for example, i would tell the person to come along. I like someone in the mix, i dont really like to be independent i notice. I like to follow i notice. i prefer to travel with other people, or if i’m traveling alone, i meet up with my family/friends. I dont like being alone, but i want to be with those i enjoy being with. I dont like certain energies with certain people if i’m with them too long. My husband and my son’s energies for example are very wonderful to be with long term and i can be alone with them everyday and feel great. It is perfect for my situation as i’m a follower and follow/adapt more to the lifestyle my husband provides for us.So yes, i have less control,providing if it feels good to me; Yes i believe astrology helps me to see this too.

    1. enjoy the visit! many ‘older’ people have a lot of wisdom to share and I’m sure with you it will work both ways.

  5. I am a loner and always have been but it is due mostly to my never having found kindred spirits along the way, or too few.

    When I do come across someone where there is a connection, I am in my heaven. I love good conversation, but my idea of “good conversation” matches with very few people.

    I used to enjoy hosting dinners, but that’s gone to hell in a handbasket now. The world has changed. People have changed. And it is no longer pleasant or satisfying for me.

    So I am a loner, not by nature, but by choice due to circumstances (“not fitting in anywhere”).

    When socializing, I do prefer one-on-one, most of the time. Allows for more focus, going deeper, more meaningful. I am not one for “superficial”.

  6. I can relate to your comment about control contributing to this. When I meet someone for the first time, especially if there is a goal attached to the relationship, I prefer to see them undiluted by the effects of “company”. Then later, seeing them with others fleshes out that base impression. Seeing a person’s essence is important to me if I know I am taking on some responsibility in the relationship.

  7. Nope, not a loner, just someone who is somewhat uncomfortable with others.
    But I’m not pining to see more people, either. I guess I have worked out a life-style that is not heavily dependant on social interaction.
    However, being completely alone – wouldn’t like that either!
    Libra rising, Moon in Aqua…?

  8. Hi Elsa! I just got off the phone with you and looking for the post you mentioned. I am still looking for it but found this one. You gave me a lot of food for thought. I will schedule something again soon to talk further, but this helped discussion helped, and now I found this post. My Gemini is chewing on it, and is therefore happier than it was. Thanks again. Kathryn

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