Recently, I had a brief conversation about death, in the forum. We were talking about acceptance of death vs fear and/or denial around the subject. Some think they can beat death or at least postpone it for a very long time. In reality, we’re all a breath away.
I’ve been accepting of this fact since I was a child. This is no remark or judgement on people who feel otherwise. I’m just telling you where I’m coming from with this. Life has always been finite and death has always been real. I happened to integrate this when I was young.
Walking away from the conversation, I mulled the exchange. I was thinking about how our bodies are designed to heal themselves. It’s a popular topic these days and I definitely see it this way. It’s all quite miraculous but there’s another side to this; a shadow side.
Yes, we are designed to heal but we are also designed to break down. We do age.
I’m writhing this for people who are on a reality kick in this realm. You can get cut and witness your body create a scab and heal itself, but you can also watch your body age.
I feel I’m better off accepting these truths rather than trying to defend against them. Publishing this so others can can consider what I’m saying. You’re just not going to beat God’s design.
I feel much appreciation for this process. The beauty in it is indescribable to me. The entire scheme is baffling yet straight forward as they come. Lately I’ve been trying to notice more about myself and those around me. Watching the people I care about step into each layer and decade is such a trip. Knowing that we never know the duration of our stay. The impermanence.
I remember the day I accepted death. Of myself or someone else. I remember the day I knew I would never worry about it again. It will swallow you whole.
This is so beautiful.
I am hoping that what we experience in this lifetime is actually a gestational phase and that maybe when we “die” we are being “born” into a new realm that we cannot possibly imagine. That gives me some peace and settles my fears. I have also at times, wanted my life to end, but in both cases, curiosity is my walking stick.
I know l will die and l would like to go when l want, without interference. Why should it drag on? A waste of resources and to what end? I never understood the idea of keeping a person alive against their will and against nature…esp amongst the religious. And no, l never liked the idea of heaven. I dont want to spend all eternity with anyone. I’d rather feed the fish. Each to their own.
King Charles has cancer. Pluto Aquarius adjustment?
Leaving this world is just as important as coming into it. There’s no need to be afraid of physical death.
Death is a welcoming thought, conjuring up feelings of eternal peace. Never felt differently about it since I can remember. I only hope I don’t die slowly.
Since I strongly believe that we have as many lives as we care to live, physical death does not concern me at all, although I will always try to stay around as long as I can help my family and others…But if you have lost your purpose in life, death should be seen as a friend…
But if you have lost your purpose in life, death should be seen as a friend…
But if you have lost your purpose in life, death should be seen as a friend…
I’ve spent the day preparing for death.
My friend and I both the same age, 76, are helping each other with , as she put it “the business of dying.”
The details I’ve been putting off have got my full attention.
Philosophically I “know” not to fear death, but in the wee dark hours I am afraid. Im Scorpio and many deaths have been a way of life. What I’m experiencing now is new and real and I pray for the space in my heart to allow for gentleness at this stage of being. My Capricorn expects the details be tended to, fingers crossed I will and make it easy for those who stay❤️
I hope you’re OK, and just planning!
“…in the wee dark hours I’m afraid”
Exactly.
I’m an 8th house Taurus.
Death and everything about it has always fascinated me.
The business of funerals.
The work of undertakers.
The actual moment or proximity of death (come my healthcare/tech days).
Especially since it wasn’t my own.
But with Pluto living in my 4th house for most of this new millennium it’s all been as morose as can get.
The majority (I’m serious) of my closest and longest term friends have all passed away.
I’m a cancer survivor.
I’ve made efforts to help my body heal itself after chemo etc.
I’ve worked hard at it yet as a look around at those that haven’t I realize while blessed nothing can stop the inevitability of my own demise.
I’m just 67 but I’ve been mentioning things to my children and they roll their eyes feeling I’m being dramatic.
But way too many ppl very close to me are gone.
So now the fascination is inward.
And I’m thinkin, damn I’m gonna miss this cause it’s all I know.
The things we all imagine bout afterlife and rebirth/reincarnation etc etc are real nice…but nobody really knows anything do they?
If the dead were reporting their whereabouts and activities I think it’d be a big deal with books, movies and everything else.
But really. It’s all speculation.
So yeah I’m fascinated and I’m fearing the unknown. Is it gonna hurt?
Do I just go to sleep. Or is it like the propofol they give before a colonoscopy (which would be groovy).
I’m unable to simply intellectualize this thing without considering the details.
Amen Sister!
I actually fear ‘not’ dying and lingering without being able to care for myself. That scares me. I am always surprised to see the ‘will to live’ in others that appear ‘to me’ to lack any quality of life, so maybe I’ll be eating those words and fighting death until the end- it’s hard to predict.
Yes indeed! I hope one of our sons will help me escape if I am lingering in a horrible state….Don’t forget to have a Do Not Rescusitate order….
Gemini 7 you are in the USA and you practice law…am l correct? Are you telling me that what you suggest isnt against the law there? Your son would be charged with murder here. Many are. The police look very closely at these sorts of cases. Or are you doing your Pluto thing again?
I disagree…While I don’t expect the situation to arise, and I would assume a family member would be very discrete, in fact, mercy killings by family members are almost never reported or prosecuted in the rare event that they are reported…There have been several examples of this…Both law enforcement and judges are people too, and are usually all too familiar with the situation…
It is not about opinion. It is a matter of law. The risk would not be yours … which tells me something about you. I also take note of what you didnt answer. Something feels off and not for the first time.
You are simply wrong.If you research the matter, you will discover that..And in fact, it is usually doctors administering a strong dose of pain killer, and they are never bothered by anyone…You need to get off your moral high horse…
she meant dont let your family members be charged with murder. you can’t do that to them. you’ll put them in prison. Let a doctor do it like you said, since you said doctors usually do it.
Dianne M. State law governs dignity at the end of life. It is one of the issues that should be private and between a person, their loved ones, and their medical professionals. As a hospice chaplain, I recommend that everyone over 60 have a written document, notarized and witnessed, that establishes their end-of-life wishes. This includes what type of life-saving medical procedures you want.
I don’t think politicians (lawmakers) should interfere in medical decisions. Bodily autonomy is perhaps the most fundamental right.
Gemini7 – I hope you have a POLST (physician’s order for life-saving treatment). Another very useful document is “Five Wishes,” which covers non-medical end-of-life choices.
Yes, Robyn, I have every necessary legal document, and if I am indisposed, my wife is appointed agent and guardian, with power of attorney over all matters…As you are aware, these documents can differ somewhat from State to State, so if you move be careful to execute those proper in your new State…
We have VAD in Australia, but laws and eligibility is not the same in all states and not everyone can access it…Are you in the US Robyn?
Yes. I recently moved from Montana to Oregon. Montana politics shifted and the party currently controlling every branch except the Courts has repeatedly attacked the rights of the people. I testified on dozens of bills in 2023 attacking fundamental rights. The political extremists want to criminalize health care from womb to tomb. I am relieved to spend my retirement years in Oregon, a state that has been a leader in supporting death with dignity.
We have had awful government interference(backed by church groups) over the years with the VAD bill. It is easier to access in Canberra, the state capitial… we have had many cases of people being charged and convicted of murder here, which is why l arced up at Gemini7 comment regarding his son.
I was a hospice chaplain until the early part of the COVID-19 pandemic. I have no fear of death, but I do fear suffering. Often, our modern medical system prolongs dying, which means it also prolongs suffering. I have spent considerable time thinking about how much time and money is devoted to prolonging suffering, avoiding death, and killing masses of people in wars and violent conflicts.
The thing is… death is just as natural as birth. Everywhere in nature, we can see beautiful cycles of creation (birth), life, and destruction (death), so what is there to fear? In my experience, people who enjoy and even adore nature have less fear of death. Astrology has been useful because I now have a profound trust in the cosmic cycles. We are all stardust born from ancient rocks.
Just so, and even some doctors have come around to that….
Yes, we are Robyn but, if someone like you was there, l’d be comforted …no talking just being.The COVID times would have been very difficult esp for you in your role. Even Jesus once said: Too much…or too many. That wasnt about dying but about healing. (I can be corrected on this)
Absolutely. We need to learn just to be present with peace when our loved ones prepare to transition from this form to what is next.
Yes Robyn, it is a transistion, a slow unfoldment and what comes next means different things to different people.
I admit that last year l became anxious and paniced not bcs death was close but bcs l raced
ahead of myself…and mentally put myself in a place where l had no control and no choice.
I have been a little chastened because of Cristi’s story. I would make a similar choice l think and forego certain treatments… But the truth is I wont no for sure until l am there. I can be theoretical atm others cant.
Well said Dianne. I didn’t know for sure till I was there. So much goes into a decision like that. Not something to take lightly.
Thank you Robyn! So beautifully said.
I’ve recently decided to forgo more chemo treatments after the cancer returned. I don’t think continuing to fight something as natural and expected as death is necessarily the best option. At least for me. I still haven’t recovered from the initial chemotherapy. I also believe delaying dying for some may be more brutal than accepting and letting go.
I’m sorry your cancer came back, Cristi. I understand your decision. Much love.
Thank you Elsa. 🙏🏽
Your perspective and insight is a bright light each day for me! I’m grateful to have something of interest, deeply thought provoking, revealing and significant to look forward to reading. You are the real deal in a world that is quickly becoming unbearable for those that know better.
(((((((Cristi))))))
Christi, I am so sorry to hear about the return of your cancer. That is so disappointing. Chemo can be very brutal. Listen to your docs and your own deepest wisdom. I happen to believe death is a release from being stuck in a body – released to pure energy/love.
Thanks Elsa.
Thank you Robyn. 🙏🏽
I look forward to moving on. I’ve had a good life and this beautiful body has done what it can.
Much love to you, Cristi 🧡
Cristi,
Blessings to you as you move forward in your journey. I just wanted to mention that I have experienced the transition of death of the body and I later returned. It is a beautiful, painless, very peaceful process. There is indeed more beyond here. (((❤️)))
Thank you Tara! Please share your experience if you wish to.
Most of my family members that have passed away, including my brother who died of cancer at the age of 27, have been home-based hospice situations. There is nothing to fear about death, as far as I’m concerned, and that doesn’t necessarily make it less scary, but I have seen up close and personal that it is a transition, however a painful one for those that aren’t moving on just yet. This intellectual knowledge does actually help with the grief, a little bit. But I really believe that none of us leave before our time, as individuals we can take some comfort in that. Still, in my experience, death is hardest on those left behind, and I don’t exclude myself from that. I really do believe though, that those that pass on, are experiencing something better. The metaphorical deaths we all go through in life are the far bigger challenge, in my opinion.
My mom finally died yesterday. She was 82, in the hospital since October 2023 with throat cancer, then broke her hip a week ago, so she was on morphine — just enough to kill the pain and still be somewhat conscious of what people were saying to her, but she couldn’t speak. Last week after the fall, her oxygen was cut off from her tracheotomy, as well as the feeding tube in her stomach, so we all knew her days were numbered in the single digits.
For most of my life, she talked about wanting to kill herself (double Leo drama queen, horrible marriage, etc.) and even tried suicide at least once that I’m aware of. I thought, well, now’s your chance, mom! But she didn’t take the opportunity immediately. And before getting cancer, I was worried she’d live to 100, as her mother did.
During her last few dying months after the cancer diagnosis, she said they were the happiest time of her life. She received a lot of attention from family and friends while in hospital, so didn’t mind postponing her death for as long as possible. We reconnected via phone calls after 16 years of estrangement, so that was nice. Leo mom received the attention she craved for so long and had been denied (long story).
There’s one situation why some people drag out their death. She wasn’t afraid to die, but she wanted some resolution in her life, I suppose. To be reaffirmed that she mattered, perhaps.
I pray I go quick and pain-free, and not as old as both of my grandmothers. I can’t imagine still being around in 2070 with all the climate disasters and gagillionaire centenarian white men and their cyberbots ruling the world. I told my mom I’d be joining her soon.
I hope you are doing ok Niki. Thank you for your story about your mum. I understand…not all but some. Both my parents were Leos.
I’m sorry for your loss. I just lost both of my parents and my DIL. Peace for them. Brutal for me. Even though I know better than to allow that and fully understand transition and don’t fear it for myself. I can’t imagine being here for all that mess to come either. I don’t have any interest in seeing any more than I already have.
Thank you, Dianne and Soup. I’m sorry for your losses, too. I agree, Soup, “I don’t have any interest in seeing any more than I already have.” I’ve recently mentioned witnessing some positive cultural shifts in a previous post, but yikes, I said to my mom, “leave while you can, avoid the imminent long lineups at the pearly gates with so many people dying, prospects for humanity are not looking good!”
Dianne, my dad’s a Leo, too. Yesterday my sister said she has never seen a relationship worse than the one our parents had. I have to agree. Two narcissistic Leos squabbling with the nastiest, most vengeful, immature comments back and forth, always trying to get others (their 3 daughters, and anyone else) to side with them, angry if we take sides, or what they perceive as taking sides. Did your Leo parents get along, Dianne?
My parents split up years ago, and only stayed together to raise their handicapped daughter (my older sister). Dad remarried. I haven’t spoken with my dad for 17 years, but my younger sister said he’s been horrible and a bit loopy since she told him our mother is dying with cancer, making my sister feel guilty for being at my mom’s hospital bedside this past week, saying things like, you know your mother was vicious, hateful, spiteful, and a liar, and she’s probably faking her illness to get attention. Takes one to know one, pops.
My dad’s probably afraid my mom will haunt him from the afterlife (even though he’s atheist). He’s so emotionally stunted. The only time he cried was when they put down our dog. My mom cried a lot, mostly because of her crappy life and horrible husband, she’d say. And knowing my mom, she’ll do anything in her ghostly power to harm him. All the power to you, mom.
Thus, part of the reason for the estrangement from my parents. I just hope mom’s ghost can help me out in my garden this year. Maybe bring some better growth to my struggling plants. She was a good gardener.
I am the eldest of 3 daughters too Niki. There was a lot of fighting and shouting…it was stressful, but they stayed together. My sisters– a Leo and Aries, lets just say we don’t get along… I felt l didnt exist except to serve and my feelings werent considered. I got out and away as soon as l could.It was suffocating. I hope the garden picks up. Soil issues?
Well, there must be something positive that’s keeping them together, if only out of habit! I got away as soon as possible, too. I’m surprised any family stays intact over the long term. And yes, I have soil issues. Like family, like garden — healthy soil grows happy plants.
People in small country towns dont get divorced esp. when there is land involved…it wasnt as bad as your situation. Other family members would see things differently to me, they bought ‘the story’ and fell in line…mostly. Oddly the Aries married another Aries and had a Capricorn daughter…who was the problem (like l was)
The Arians divorced.
About gardens:
I am building up two of the garden beds using the ‘no dig’ method. The soils are ancient in Australia.
I am not sure which part of the world you are in or what sort of weather you are having.
Interesting perspective on land keeping people together in small country towns. Makes sense. The only reason I would have ‘coupled’ would be to work a farm together. I have a mega Taurus stellium. Venus & Mars in Taurus to me means, get hitched and work the farm. Not indulge in extravagances!
Yes, the ‘no dig’ method is the key to good soil, it seems, but every year I dig and turn the heavily compacted soil from snow and rain (northwest coast of N America). I dig in the leaf mulch – the garden’s winter blanket – to try to make it less compact and mossy from all the precipitation. It’s a work in progress replenishing and building good soil every year.
Niki, we might be testing the system with replies(?) Nth west coast is seeing some weather, yes? Clay soils?
I know the cold can interfer with life in the soil…l am thinking worms. Are you in potato growing country? Idaho is in that area, l think. Not astrology talk unless there is we are thinking earth sign business. Yes! My tree has peaches this year…almost lost it. Lose a branch save a tree. Good luck with your bit of earth.
I also live in the paradox:We are miracles and can heal; we are finite,we will age,we break,like cars do,even Cadillacs, over time, and it is inevitable. There is a peace in holding both thoughts.
I do not fear death in the least,for myself. What strikes fear and sadness in my Soul is the thought of my LOVED ONES dying and leaving me all alone.My husband is my soul mate,been together sine we were teenagers and I cannot imagine life without him.(Though I practice, just in case,thinking about it..) ANd my son. He has been very ill.He may go before me. That’s it for family.I am on only child. I HAD an only child. Have 1 cousin 3000 miles away who is not in touch. I want and need my guys.
As a spiritual seeker all my life I work hard on acceptance of “what is” and that we all die, not always in the order we prefer.
But there are days I am almost paralyzed by thoughts of losing these guys.When my son got ill, it triggered this to an awful extent, moms just don’t think we will outlive our children..it’s a freaking awful thought.
So,I know that one of my most important life tasks at this age (70) is to strengthen my body mind and soul to deal with whatever may come.
We break. We heal. We die. We survive.And I believe the order of all that is destined,so.. I try hard to live in the MOMENTS.