Is It Important To Be Personable?

I worked with two clients this morning, both of them personable in spite of of their circumstances. Being personable is not something people teach or encourage anymore and you really don’t run across it that often.

Personable, by definition means, pleasant or amiable per Merriam-Webster. The word dates to the 15th century.

Saturn in Libra would most definitely mark a time to raise or work on your level or personability. I think people want and expect people to like them however they arrive on the scene, not taking responsibility for whether or not they are likable in the first place.

Back to the clients, I am very encouraged for their prospects in the future because when someone is personable it opens a lot of doors.

I used to be more personable than I am now. I’m inspired to see if I can revert back. I don’t think I’d have found my way off the street as a teen without being personable. When you get right down to it, being personable can mean your survival.

Anyone else have thoughts on this?

27 thoughts on “Is It Important To Be Personable?”

  1. I think you nailed that point-blank. Any way you look at it – more bees with honey, being your own best salesperson and so on – it’s a good, good idea. Sometimes it can take an effort but the effort always does pay (and sometimes do an actual stint in sales/marketing/customer service can really wake up one’s sense of the value in it.) I have definitely been feeling it more lately, wanting to reach out more, connect in positive ways. Saturn in Libra for the win!

  2. I think people who are cross and chronically bitching have gotten a lot of attention in recent years but more and more, they’re gonna be left by the side of the road. People have tremendous problems right now – real and in their face and just don’t want to be dragged down.

  3. It’s absolutely learnable – kids saying please and thank you is a huge start to being what us Brits call ‘well-mannered’.

    But it’s somehting that comes from and feeds back to within. Even if you don’t feel smiley inside, a big smile will always make you feel better and those around you feel better.

    I come across lots of people in my work from high-level politicans to soccer players to people on benefits. They all have different backgrounds, different amounts of money, different stresses and strains. They are ALL people first and foremost though – and the ones that are most successful in the long run are the ones that spend that milisecond on niceties be it a smile or a ‘how are you.’

    Personability costs nothing but is priceless.

  4. I know when my light is on and how people react. I know when it’s off and I am on the sidelines.
    I don’t know if it’s laziness or what. I like when people make it easy to connect and joke– and with some people they just bring me out. Saggitarians, for example.
    Also related, maybe. I find it VERY easy to chitchat with random people and for it to be a positive, warm thing where I actually feel warm fuzzies. But for potentially ongoing relationships, I am wary of getting involved. Maybe I overthink it (or better, overFEEL it), but I see how it evolves.

  5. I’ve always considered part of my job as a human is to be personable. Mostly because anyone and everyone are entitled to dislike you if they choose, so why not just try to get along. Even if you don’t like each other.

    Astrology? I’d chalk it up to Sun trine Moon, Sagittarius/Gemini on the ASC/DES axis and North Node in Libra/10th.

  6. Avatar
    curious wanderer

    Being personable can definitely be learned. When I was younger, I was very standoffish. I wanted to keep the world at arm’s length, and it showed. But I realized that I was not going to make it in the kind of world I wanted to live in unless I softened up a little bit.

    So I make eye contact, smile, and greet people warmly. Fortunately, I already had manners. Anyhow, I think it’s a preferable way to be, and I feel so much more connected to humanity.

  7. Oh, Perez Hilton (and others) – the snark squad. That stuff is so played at this stage, especially across this medium (Internet). Wasn’t all that cool to begin with but has now become just trite. Personability in bloggers is something I do appreciate though it has to be sincere on some level – like yours is, for example, very palpably genuine, I feel.

  8. chrispito–I couldn’t agree more. Its part of all of our jobs as humans to be nicer to each other than we are. I always have a smile for the person behind the counter, or the checker at the grocery. I try to let others go first if we get to the stop sign at the same time, wave pedestrians to cross before I go. Life would be just so much nicer if everyone took a little more time to be kinder to each other. You never know what someone has gone through, either in their life, or in their day, and it costs so little to give them the brightness of a smile.

  9. Oh, now I remember what else I wanted to say – there’s a recent movie, “Happy Go Lucky” (came out a few years ago – directed by Mike Leigh) that deals with this subject, personability. Subtle story yet highly memorable because of the truths it touches.

  10. I really like the idea of entering an era where the nice guy finishes first. Looking forward to the next years with Saturn in Libra!

  11. Great word and yes I agree with the all sentiments expressed and I hope you are right Elsa that unpleasant behaviour is foing out of fashion! Life is so much less stressful out of the city, because people take the time to treat one another with courtesy and consideration

    I think the word ‘personable’ may have a slightly different significance in England, however, from the way it’s used. Here, it signifies someone who knows how to behave – who is appropriately dressed, observes the appropriate conventions and courtesies, and is at ease socially. It also has the implication that someone is nice looking and dresses properly, ie attractive but not in a sexy way, just an average ok sort of way… and there is a slight ‘class’ nuance as well – as always in England! To say someone is ‘personable’ is always a compliment – it implies total acceptability without any bling or showiness. It’s about appearances, rather than behaviour, but the inference is that someone who is personable will probably behave well too.

    The French have a neat colloquial term for this too: ‘bcbg’ (pronounced ‘bay say bay jay’) – which stands for ‘bon chic bon genre’, that is, ‘good style good sort’

  12. Yes, I spent years in business where I was always the face, the person who got sent out to meet clients, front workshops and so on. Even when it wasn’t my job they’d put me out there because of my ‘people skills’. With me it’s innate, though – Libra rising trine my Cap sun. I can’t not smile and be welcoming in these situations. Later on, I became a headhunter and recruiter and was interviewing people all the time and to be honest, you could have technical skills and qualifications coming out of your ears but if you weren’t ‘personable’ I would always hesitate to send you to a client. It is so important, I cannot stress it enough, especially in today’s job climate. No one likes working with bad manners and bad attitudes, no one.

  13. Interesting because I have come across to very real examples of how it is VERY important ie: survival to be personable. I don’t think we should be fake about it but keep it in the forefront of our behaviour with others as much as possible. I avoid shows like TMZ and anything that trashes people. I find it low brow and just really immature. I hope that you are right Elsa and that this passes very soon.

  14. I used to be more personable than I am now, and I do miss it (I’ve retained some of it, but I’m more abrasive than I used to be – people had trouble recognizing when I was going through a hard time in the past, because I would be nice, I would rarely argue…).

    I would like to have that back – it was one of my better personality traits. (This reminds me of what I once read about grooves in the brain, and how a new groove is created as you created new habits; the energy moving through the brain chooses the new groove more and more, as you do whatever new thing you’re doing, more and more. This was in the book, Emotional Alchemy.)

  15. I’m personable in an abrasive way, if that makes sense. 🙂

    I’m very able to do the smile and light chitchat and Southern thang, but I don’t often choose to. Not that I’m surly all the time, because I’m not (I don’t think), but sometimes I want to ride in the elevator without talking and it shows. Too many of those light social interactions drains me, so I try to “save up” for when it’s necessary.

  16. Why can’t we all treat each other the way we ourselves like to be treated?
    Everyone just has a job to do- how much better our day goes when someone smiles at us or makes a nice comment or polite gesture?
    If I’m working with grumpy assed clients or very solemn people I turn it into a game with myself- make a challenge to get at least one smile out of them. It works wonders =)

  17. Thanks for the welcome elsa 🙂

    Thought you’d appreciate this – I’m a journalist and a random man just came in off the street to talk to me about something called restorative justice. It’s dealing with things in a more hands-on way so a kid who steals in school will be confronted with victim and parents and feelings discussed instead of excluding them; kids taught to discuss feelings rather than lash out and hurt others etc.

    The focus is on preventing bad feelings and, therefore, crime and anti-social behaviour from happening.

    Thought you’d appreciate the coincidence 😉

  18. i live in Thailand, “the land of smiles”. courtesy (& generous hospitality) still is a strong mark of Thai culture. to experience it literally changed my life. when i visited my parents (in Germany) some 2 years ago i was _shocked_ about the rudeness, lack of tact, indifference ruling social behaviour there. i was trained that way too…

    a kind word helps a lot, an open smile helps a lot, acknowledging the presence of another human being helps a lot. 🙂

  19. i like personable, and i think i usually am, but i have become less spontaneously so over the years.

    i miss that part of myself, but i have just been hurt too many times to trust that i can let all of my jupiter rising friendliness out and have no bad consequences. so i am personable but discriminating.

    i know a libra stellium that seems very personable, but i get weird vibes. she was trained in etiquette, and she smiles nonstop.she smiles between sentences at nothing in particular. one time, after exchanging goodbyes, i started to walk out of the room with my husband, but had a weird compulsion to turn around, and there she was, beaming at our backs. idk, just gives me the willies.

    i guess i’d rather that people be themselves. if they can improve upon themselves, great. but if, in doing so, they become something that betrays their true character, i’d rather just have the plain vanilla version.

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