Dear Elsa,
I recently had a short-lived relationship with a Leo. It ended because I discovered that he hadn’t been altogether truthful about his involvements with other women. While I’m glad that I found out before I got too involved, it also made me realize that this isn’t the first time that this has happened!
Another old boyfriend had a similar problem, only he got married after we broke up… and neglected to tell me, even though he was writing to me for months and months. While neither of them out-and-out lied about anything, both were experts at twisting facts to their advantage.
While I’m thankful that all of my ex-boyfriends haven’t been like this, I have say to that the possibility of getting involved with more “fluidly truthful” guys freaks me out a little bit – especially since I couldn’t tell what was wrong until the truth came out. Are there any
indicators in someone’s chart that point towards someone being more honest or less honest? More gullible or less gullible?
Also, is it realistic to expect someone to be totally honest about all of this? I try to be honest with men, but the Leo told me that most people don’t even want to hear all of the truth all of the time. What do you think?
Ex Girlfriend
Dear Girlfriend,
There are all kinds of lies, and all kinds of liars. There are cases when a person is lied to… out and out deception. And there are other cases when a person lies to themselves, ignoring obvious cues and clues… and then projects the nasty behavior on the partner when the veil drops. I could go on with the various scenarios and combinations but you get the idea. This is not a narrow question.
See, Neptune / Pisces has a reputation for deceiving, where Gemini can tell almost constant tiny fibs. The fire signs exaggerate and Scorpio will lie like a rug about anything they don’t happen to want you to know. But really just about everyone lies at one time or the other, to one degree or the other, consciously, semi-consciously, sub-consciously, accidentally, unknowingly… you get the idea.
So I don’t think you are going to be able to nail down some kind of marker in a chart and say “that’s the chart of a liar!” I think that at best, people tell truth “most of the time” so I actually kind of like your term, “fluid truth”.
Now specific to your problem, there are signs of “gullibility” in your chart. Neptune square your Moon for one. But get this. The confusion goes both ways.
For example, with Neptune square your Moon, you will be confused at times about how you actually feel. But let’s say you’re married, or you’ve got some man, and you are in an established relationship. He says “I love you,” and you answer him on auto-pilot, “I love you too.” You say this, even though sometimes you wonder. You say this because although the tide goes out, you’ve seen it come back in enough times that you say “I love you” on faith. But fact is, in the moment, you just wish he’d shut up. Or maybe you wish you were on a beach in Tahiti or something. So did you just lie to him?
I say this to open you to the idea that you yourself are probably not expressly honest. Like that guy up there, your hypothetical husband. You yourself may be entirely capable of saying “I love you” a year beyond the time you stopped, out of sheer compassion! You don’t want to hurt him, do you? But then you file for a divorce.
So I would think along these lines. Because I suspect if you become more aware of your own ability and capacity to deceive, you will see the pattern change… along with your reaction to it.
Good luck.
~~
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I feel for you, Ex-gf. I have moon and mars square neptune (among other neptunian influences in my chart), and I had always considered myself a straightforward person who didn’t invite deception, but now I realize how much I really deceive myself and sometimes unwittingly, others, not to mention the crazy mental and emotional expectations, the intensity of feeling that goes along with these aspects. It can be tough to deal with, but there is an upside to it, I suppose, which is the imagination, intuition and depth that can be achieved when this energy is properly channeled. Hope it goes well for you.
I want you to know how helpful this post is to me! WOW. Thank you elsa.
You’re welcome! 🙂
During a progressed or maybe it was a solar Moon square Neptune, I had extra paranormal experiences. It really brought more of them on. I have Neptune rising in Scorpio, it’s so close to my Ascendant line it may as well be on top of it. And a few Neptune aspects as well. I’m mediumistic and somewhat psychic. When I get extra Neptune added to my natal Neptune I always notice it.
thank you! all Neptune relations can be refereed to in terms of small lies… or maybe deception.
Years later and this post is still helping me. Elsa you are a phenom. Thank you.
You’re welcome. 🙂
When it comes to liars, Sun/Neptune opposition or square comes to my mind.
Like the bellybutton lint; you know deep inside,there’s a little .
There are definitely flags, just
As they line a cemetery on veterans
Day. Do you forgive them , as most liars just say too darn much, or more importantly do you forgive yourself for wanting the companionship
Soooo much you just let ‘em fly
The lies ,the past, the fear
Of thinking ,will I feel love?You will!
Because one day you will hear
See feel and know, you are Love!
And your heart is strong and your
Lips are waiting to whisper and share your warmth and like lightning
Crackling in the distance ;you are reborn ,so you look up and love is there at the edge of your eyelash at the tips of your fingers, ok tap on the piano keys
And make a wish. This is the start
Of you asking the universe for the truth, because the liar box has been checked.
Haha belly button lint!
I don’t know if I would peg much lying on a Scorpio, unless they’re born closer to th sag cusp or let’s say mercury in sag or moon in Gemini. But then Elsa is right everyone has lied at some point in their life, but then there are other who make it part of their every day lives.
The hard oart is when the other is lying to themselves. Then it can be hard to tell the truth, cause seruously, what can you do?
On the other end I have Neptune in Sag Quincunx Chiron so there’s that. The truth – when it comes out – often hurt me. And because Chiron is tied up in the same aspect to Saturn-Pluto conj in 9th house I can have a difficult time acknowledging ‘the truth’ and so when it gets out, I am not doubting it and the connections end up hurting the butt out of me after which my world view is shaken and I transform.
I had a very ‘shady’ Piscean Bf with Mars and Venus square Neptune on the 7th house cusp. He was a real ‘sensitive Bad Boy’ – in other words – the seducer and he was a therapist as well so manipulation was def his game. Now THAT was an experience I would never wish for myself again.
So after that – and when Saturn transited Neptune – I learned that truth is the best, no matter what. And it forced me to become less deceptive and more straightforward with my own feelings in a relationship. But it will have to be somethibg I need to pay attention to every day, because the truth hurts with Chiron and Neptune in Sag.
But so d
Ya, its tricky, the truth is. It requires first, that youre honest with yourself, which is really hard.
What is truth? Is truth the opposite of a lie? Or something else entirely? These are things I ask myself. In my vague estimation, honesty is more of a removal of untruths.
Oh my Elsa!!!! I have Moon square Neptune and I’ve never heard such a clear explanation/example!!!! Thank you
You’re welcome! 🙂
I have Moon sq neptune. I would say when I was young I was very naive, and got lied to a lot. If someone (a man) said it, I believed it, at least in terms of a relationship. Even in my late 40’s -mid 50’s I got lied to a lot. Yes, there were some signs, but I was ‘overly hopeful’ as well. I truly hope I am not so naive now. I try and Gage the character of others much more deeply than I did before.
sounds more like “avoidance” so that the other person doesn’t get hurt. To lie, and say I love you but you dont really love that person. I mean you are confused, thinking, well he is good to me, but do i really love him because he is good to me? Alot of people are good to me….It isn’t really being mean lying but it hurts if you dont really love that person. You have to be honest, even if it hurts alot. i dont like to bother with these things either so i tend to run away or just avoid people altogether so i dont get into situations like that.