I went to weekly therapy for three years. This was almost thirty years ago. I had all this trauma locked up. You may relate.
I imagined a treasure chest sunk deep, embedded in the ocean floor. It can hold for awhile, maybe even a long while, but one day something shifts and that box starts to leak.
This is happening to a lot of people right now. I see it happening to the entire collective. I give it to Neptune aspecting Jupiter, Saturn, and Pluto in Capricorn.
It begins with a little bubble floating up but the next thing you know, all kinds of things work their way out. Chances are you’ve got a lot of garbage locked up. Still, some of what’s repressed, controlled, or being contained will be brilliant, and even the garbage can be transformed.
You may not be interested in making this kind of effort. You can still benefit by allowing the contents, under pressure, to escape and rise to the surface – to the light.
What I like about this is it’s a sextile. It may be your best chance in a while to get rid of your murky burden.
Oh boy!!!
I hope this will help me deal with my murky burden.
Thank you for pointing ou this aspect, it’s encouraging. (I need it)
Yeah,too long with some unneeded feelings,told my older brother one time
About something, my brother told me there’s some bad people in the world but I’m one of the good ones,bad stuff just happen sometimes to good people; sometimes is a big word to understand,he helped me when he said I am a good person ,I had my doubts
It’s good to understand that you are a good person. I had to learn how terrible I wasn’t by a long succession of really bad people in my life. It turned my world upside down. After all, they were always saying how good they were and what a piece of crap I was. It was a hard way to learn that I am not a bad person.
I sure relate to that leaky treasure chest metaphor. Somehow that relationship is my search for others who have the treasure … always on the lookout for how to be THEIR KEY. But this Neptune sextile the Capricorn stellium is loosening up the need to prove my worth (the treasure). FEAR- false evident appearing real the chest and Neptune, my dreams and watery experiences lately are showing me others aren’t who they appear to be.
Natal Neptune in Libra is in my 9th House of philosophy/world view. With Neptune in my 3rd it makes sense I get a watery release on how I communicate with my neighbors/siblings/those I ‘thought’ are allies.
Not only is Tr Neptune sextiling the Cap stellium, it is also forming a mutable T-square in my chart: Tr Neptune opposing my natal Virgo Venus and my natal Sag Saturn it at the apex. A time of dissolving and reforming relationships plus a heavy reviewing of my personal spiritual sides. I chalk up a lot of this action to Covid-19 (Neptune).
Oh, I had big resolve last weekend. I really did not enjoy the bubbly so I put it out of my mind. And then bingo, it released.
So if stuff bubbles up for a person and it does not resolve and release, could it turn to anger and shootin in the streets? Anger and domestic abuse? And the rest of the craziness that goes on? A person could make a real mess of their life.
The strange thing about release is that I feel like I should remember what it is, but it is so gone once released, it is almost impossible to remember.
Oh dear, so I went back to my journal and the thing was there. As tragic as the events were and as horrific the loss was at such a young age, there was a positive message from the sibs I lost. Even though I was abandoned by their deaths, and they were no longer there for me, they made their point and gave me ground. So it was a good bubbly. And then this morning, a long distance sib was lighting up the phone lines with more chaos. Oh, that’s her bubbly I guess. I am not going to go back to some fantasy family that never existed, just so she can feel powerful by manipulating people by stirring up trouble and getting everyone’s undies in a knot, but in a oh so nice sweet caring way. Bleahhh! I have seen it all before. I find it cruel to mess with people’s lives like that. Block those calls.
I’m obsessed with this right now, completely fixated on unlocking the treasure. I never would have thought of a treasure chest, but it’s the perfect metaphor. I received a clue a couple of years ago, that trauma was locked in my body… but only a couple of little bubbles made it to the surface and I couldn’t make anything of it. Now this time it’s like there’s a fully formed being rattling and shaking from within the chest, and I’m determined to set it free. I do not care what it looks like or what it has to say, I just need it OUT. The whole thing is covered in barnacles and the metal lock is completely oxidized, so this job requires many tools. Luckily I’ve got Gemini.
T. Neptune and T. Pluto are in aspect with my angles and my sun right now. I have Neptune sextile Pluto in my natal too (with my moon sandwiched semi-sextile between the two). My Sadge moon is having a hard time with feeling so heavy, submerged in so much emotion, and the visibility being pea soup, but I have nowhere else to run this time. I’ve set myself up to win. I must remain still, calm the beast within, and allow the cloudiness settle out so I can get this mission completed.
I’ve been getting triggered almost every day, or every other day, and it hurts and it’s confusing and it feels like two steps forward, one step back. But the triggers are the key to a new outlook on life, so it’s also exhilarating. I’ve been learning from Pema Chodron that the point is not to remove the pain, but to remove the suffering. And the more we can release our own suffering, the more we can support others who are suffering. No more time for distractions or holding things inside. I don’t want to be the girl with a hardened heart.
This is unreal … to see this right now. Right on time.
I just told my husband that when we land (from the move) I am calling someone. For the first time in my life I am going to go into therapy of somekind. The gunk I have backed up from a lifetime of various trauma is causing me to feel physically ill. I need to talk to someone to get some sort of release. It’s very important right now.
Being a Scorpio and going in to talk to someone is a very big deal to me. I have only talked to two people (personally) in my life about this stuff and they have been here. Elsa and Ally. That is it. In my whole life. But, its bubbling to the surface and the cracks are starting to show.
And, it hurts. It’s time to unload some of this stuff.
I think I just spelled her handle wrong… Allie.. my rock… Elsa my rock..
(((((soup)))))