A couple weeks ago, I wrote about Saturn transiting my 12th house. Saturn is solidly in my 12th house now. This transit has come upon me.
The main thing I’ve noticed, is people are defining me in ways I think are false. I’m not talking about being victimized. People are pushing me to accept leadership positions or positions with authority. I’m not interested.
For one thing, I have a business to run. For another, I have an illness to manage.
If you’ve been reading here awhile, you might remember, I was pushed to be the President of my local Woman’s Club. I was strongly against this but I succumbed to outside influences and accepted the position. Oh my God, what a misery. And what a failure! I cringe when I think of it, still.
So now this is happening again. And there is a powerful school of thought out there that believes that a person is pushed to do things like this because people see things in them that they don’t see in themselves. Well guess what? It might be the exact opposite! People may see things that aren’t there and not see things that are!
I am pretty sure the second situation applies in this case, which means I have to maintain a boundary (Saturn) the outside forces wish to crash. I did consult spiritual (12th house) authority (Saturn) on this. Seriously – I went to see a priest!
“Look,” I said. “This person wants me to do this thing. I don’t want to do this thing, but besides that, I’ve taken quite a bit of time to try to discern what I should be doing. Do you think I should do this thing?”
“If, X wants this thing done, tell him to do it himself! If he says, God, told him you should do this, tell him to worry about God wants him to do. You’re a lot closer to the source when it comes to knowing what you’re supposed to do…”
This was helpful, of course. But two weeks later, here comes another person pushing and I mean, pushing hard.
I told her I was not interested / able / did not have the skills nor the desire to do what she wanted. I wrote her not one, not two, but three very detailed emails, around what I could and could not do and why. She wrote me back with the popular school of thought, already mentioned.
I don’t think people have all that much insight into me. If they did, they would know how close I am to punching them in the face.
What kills me is a person says they want to get to know you…but when I allow this, they don’t like what I am. They don’t like that I don’t match their imagination.
“There is a reason I live in the country,” I say. It’s the same reason I don’t visit other blogs and make remarks. I am trying not to offend. I am trying to not upset anyone.
I just can’t make the hologram you see, be real. But I’ll tell you something about these transits. If you play close attention when the begin, they’ll be a clue. The priest gave me the key I need. I just have to work it.
This is a very difficult transit. If you need help – Staying Stable As Reality Morphs.
All the best with your efforts and boundary to do what you want to do, Elsa.
You helped me in a huge way when I had saturn transiting my 12th via an email reading of yours that I read often for perspective. Glad the priest helped you.
Thanks on all counts. I’m just astounded how far off people can be. Not only might you not know me better than I know me, you most likely don’t know me at all!
People get their lines all jacked.
I don’t know how many times I have to tell people I don’t like strife. I don’t like cruises to nowhere and I don’t like wasted time.
I don’t like running the lives of others…this includes my own children, so why would I want to be in charge of adults?
I have an astonishingly unusual background and I’m just going to be a bit odd.
I did tell this gal that I realized my reaction was abnormal because I am abnormal. But it’s like, “talking to a fan”. (Search the blog)
i have found that when I am reacting and I am deciding for another person their intent( if i point i have 3 fingers at me). i have found when i use the words ALWAYS or oh no HERE it Comes again, i am projecting and i have resentments from previous situations. In this case it is always ME and not them. NOt about THEM at all. So I pick up my fix it hat and I begin to explain my no to them. I give them permission to agrue with me, to convince me, to get me past false modesty, I do this as i refeel when I have perceived this demanded of me in the past and so i repeat it (which is insane since i didn’t get what i wanted the first ten times 🙂
Someone said to me once, have you tried looking at said person and saying No, I’m not going to be doing that. and then disengaging.
My jaw dropped to the floor, ooo that’s rude , uhm no it’s not it’s not codependent and it’s not carrying all the refeeling from before it’s simple. Who cares if there appears to be a justification in a chart or some cards, i’m great at rationalizations and justifications…how about into the solution, the action! good luck!
I have said that, almost precisely, to more than one person, more than once. In one ear, out the other.
I don’t understand how this can be. I don’t hint. I speak directly. I know this is the case, because the person will look as if I cut their throat. The next day, they are back wishing for some more, pointed communication. Why? I just don’t want to play.
I don’t want to be cold and/or rejecting, either. But I just don’t know this person that other people see…the person who has endless time and energy and interest.
My last vacation was four years ago and I traveled with three dogs and a kid in the car. Um…
Plus we stayed in a cabin and I was responsible for providing three meals a day for more than 12 people. I had cook, clean, and pay, all of it. I had to clean the entire cabin before we left. So really, I try to stay by myself as much as I can. Because otherwise there is no respite.
I do see, I am absorbing more. I’m pretty much getting a hangover from others. I am going to address this, though. I have found a place I can go, that is quiet. Get this:
“You can’t go here…”
“No, I’ve tried that. Bashed into a locked door.”
“There is another door..?”
“You’re kidding me. You mean there is a secret door?”
“Yes…but it’s not secret, really.”
“It’s secret to a person who goes to the entrance of the place and finds it locked. Where is this secret door, now..? I would like to go sneak in there, if it can be done.”
lol i am giggling at your itty bitty chitty committee
Love that:”I get a hangover from others.” Me too.
Great writing!
Saturn transiting my 11th house is currently cleaning my space of false profets, ideas, false friends and insincere people . I am so tired of all the bad blood, betrayals, disappointments. It seems it leading me now towards the retreat of 12th house, that will start in November. It is paralel with my maternity leave.
I understand from where you are coming Elsa really and I agree with your Priest. I agree with you when you say you have a full plate and there is no room for anything else. Running a business and managing an illness as serious as yours is quite an accomplishment. I’m glad your priest had some helpful and useful advise. If these folks want X done so bad then they should consider doing it themselves. You wouldn’t do X the way they had envisioned X should be done anyway. You would have done X your way which is the only way you could do X not the way they would want X done, so they would not be happy with the results anyway.
“I don’t think people have all that much insight into me. If they did, they would know how close I am to punching them in the face.”
^lol. I understand.
I don’t know, it sounds like these people aren’t repectimg your boundaries which is Saturn is the 12th as well.
There is some boundary issue people feel they can push but there’s really no need to try to please them, I’d just say “absolutely not” and leave it at that…no rationalisation at all. My husbands favorite phrase “absolutely not” or “yeah… NO”. He has a Cap Moon and it squares Pluto/Jupiter/Saturn/Mercury. There’s no cooercing they can maneuver when hit in the face with a big fat NO.
I mean, I’m not implying reject them personally. Saying no and then dropping it isnt necessarily rejecting them as a person, its just protecting your boundaries. Really anyone that takes NO as a personal rejection is seriously not worth explaining yourself to anyway. They’ll just end up getting butthurt in the end regardless.
I’ve too decided that a time does come when saying “No thank you” is all the explanation needed. People that are that intent on stepping over other’s boundaries, do not care about your reasons and their opinions/judgements/definitions of who we are isn’t real and it doesn’t serve us. (Saturn)
I know someone who has Natal Saturn in the 12th in Aquarius, who reacts crazy super strongly to those news stories about innocent people being released from jail after 20 years for a crime they didn’t commit after DNA or similar evidence proves them innocent. I’m guessing his soul knows just how that feels. As you said, “People may see things that aren’t there and not see things that are!”
Saturn in the 12th house is brutal, I agree. And, the “we can’t HEAR you” thing …
When Saturn was transiting my 12th my then-husband was threatening suicide every single day. Like it was a fact, gonna happen, no stopping it, just a matter of time. I was almost crazy from it. Every single person I told…. he would deny it. No one heard me. Actually got him as far as a ER one night but by the time we got there he told the doctor he was just having a bad day and his wife blows it all out of proportion.
It seems like Saturn in the 12th always involves an authority in some way (Saturn), miscommunication (Neptune) and a smattering of reputation/integrity. i.e., Elsa, you obviously can’t go off on these people because it involves your “people” — and that makes me wonder—- is there some chance they are TRYING to provoke you? Trying to MARTYR themselves?
Saturn in 12th, it’s like living in opposite world.
I don’t think anyone is trying to provoke me, at least not in the way you may be thinking.
There is more than one person. There are several who want me to be in their crew or be part of their crew – they state this plainly. I am trying to do exactly that, but I am not doing it in the way they might want or expect…I don’t really know what the problem is with me…but it turns out clunky.
In other cases, people *are* trying to provoke me in that they want to know what I think about things or how I feel about this or that. They want me to share my ideas, which I am happy to do. I am many, many, many ideas. However, the conclusions they draw or the direction they take once I speak my mind, is…who knows what.
Really, I’m some kind of anomaly. I just am and there is nothing I can do about it. I should be less or more crazy. To be balanced the way I am, creates a problem for people, I think.
It’s like I’m the idiot savant. “Let’s ask, Elsa…see what she thinks.”
But my ideas are Marsy, when I would like them to be polite. Basically, I’m an energy source, though. People are interested in anyone who has energy – period.
Dear Diane,
I am sorry that you had to go thorough all this! Omg.
I hate this kind of emotional blackmail.
What happened when Saturn crossed your Ascendant?
I got a restraining order.
This time Saturnine restraining energy was a remedy… that’s comforting. My partner did what he could to hurt himself, make me leave, to provoke me as much as he can. That time Saturn was opposite his natal Jupiter on DSC. We worked it out.
I will see what kind of “drama” will happen when Saturn will be on my asc opposite Mars+ natal Saturn squaring Uranus. I have survived this once.
Diane O,
wow, that is such toxic behavior from your then husband.
Elsa, you have a (not so) secret door, to an authority figure you can send these people to: “Ask the priest, he and I discussed this at length, and he agrees with me.” Then it’s up to them to decide to keep pushing (him) or not.
::guessing, you’re already doing so::
Saturn just left my 12th house recently. Harrrrd transit (especially for a 10th house Sun). Felt like I was being knocked flat on my ass. NOTHING felt solid and I really had to learn to flow along with things. I really, REALLY wanted to pull a Greta Garbo and ghost everyone. LOL
Saturn in the 12th house is like: “There’s nothing I can do about my problems right now, no money, no time ::inserts fingers in ears:: LALALALALA!!! Everything will work itself out cause I have no other choice but to trust. Meanwhile, I need some alone time really bad!”
Then Saturn crosses the Ascendant and says, “Okay, you have insurance now. Go fix your teeth. While you’re at it, take your car to the shop and have it looked at. You’ve coasted long enough. Get this stuff dealt with, ASAP.”
BTW, Saturn returns to my 12th this spring. I’m not looking forward to it.
I sympathize. Saturn transiting in the 12th really churns everything out! It must because of Saturn moving into its home sign. Leadership (Capricorn) brings you grief (12th) over unwanted responsibility and burdens (Saturn) Hang in there! I loved it when Saturn crossed my Ascendant.
This sounds like the Neptune in the 1st house transit I’m having. Or my natural Uranus and Neptune in the 12th. And I have mars retrograde in cancer so it’s really hard for me to say no:(
‘I don’t think people have all that much insight into me. If they did, they would know how close I am to punching them in the face.’ Nice! I like it.
Keeping boundaries is an art form.
Oh I`m currently having it, and its my Saturn return in 12th, Cap Asc…. people are making assumptions about me and I can`t prove them wrong, its confusing. I really don`t like this transit, and in my case Saturn in 12th is not just a transit. I cry a lot. I put restrictions on myself and Im very hard on myself. I really can`t loosen up. I don`t like complaining and I currently do that. <3
Saturn is wrapping up its transit of my twelfth house. I’ve gone from caring what people think to not caring. I’m not understood and I’ve let go of the need to be. It’s been very freeing and empowering. It turns out that I actually don’t understand people either. How could I ever know what someone’s experience is like? All I can do is be true to myself and that can’t be understood by anyone else but it also can’t be truly threatened.
This transit cleared up soooooooo much stuff for me.
Tell them you’re woodshedding on a project or researching something, etc. lthat you’re flattered, how kind, etc. but you don’t have the tine to take on anything right now. No other explanation needed.,You’ve moved to a different locale and people have different communication styles in different areas. You don’t have to answer the second or third email.
Saturn has just entered my 12th house, and somehow, I really feel the need to “stay off the grid” for the time being…
I had this transit during the Saturn in Scorpio time and people trying to push you into what they only believe you are ring a bell (but I thought in my case it was more because it aspected my natal Saturn in Pisces and Neptune on the way). For me it was more of life itself forcing me to have a grip on myself, rather than commanding others – but maybe that comes with another return?
When it finally passed through the it felt great, though.
Google is doing a great job of finding topics on your site, Elsa. Landed me right here, on this post, which is exactly what I needed. Helps that you have relevant titles. Thanks! YOU are doing a great job with this site.