Hi Elsa,
I’ve been in a relationship for 12 years. I am 35 years old and have 3 children. I left my husband last year because he had been cheating on me for the past years, which I got tired of. He has children with other women.
A couple of months ago I met this guy who I’ve been seeing, but he is married. I love everything he does for me and for the kids, He says he loves me but I know it’s not true. He is very jealous and calls me ten times a day to see what I’m doing. He’s been with his wife for 15 years and we see each other everyday and spend time together on the weekends all day.
We tried to separate on a few occasions, which failed. I love him because he makes me feel loved. I wish I could have him but he’s taken. I need some advice how to stop this relationship, because at the end run, someone will get hurt and I do not want to be the cause (or get hurt myself).
Cheated-On Cheater
Dear Cheater,
To be very candid, you seem to have a penchant for forming triangles in relationships, have you noticed? And you sound detached, even nonchalant about it… so I am not sure what your problem is. You love the guy, because he makes you feel loved, though you know he doesn’t love you? Come again?
Look. You’re making very little sense. And for a Virgo, with four planets in the sign, this is pretty scary. You don’t want to cause hurt, but you’re screwing someone else’s husband when you have firsthand knowledge of how it feels to be on the other end of that. Huh?
Not that I think his wife is all that upset. The way it sounds, she is glad to be rid of him and I can’t say I blame her. Who wants some bastard calling them 10 times a day, anyway? You field those calls and she is free to live.
So this is all very curious to me. But this is an advice column and you wrote for advice on how to end the relationship and that much is simple. Call the guy up and tell him you changed your mind. Like this: “Don’t come around anymore, because I’m no longer interested.” Because what do you mean, you “tried to separate on a few occasions, which failed”? How is that possible?
Sorry, but I have to quote Yoda: “Do or do not do. There is no try.”
Good luck.
May be the transit of Uranus opposing het 4 planets Virgo stellium could cause you to do such things…
I’m wondering if having a bunch of Virgo (in the absence of certain other things in their chart) can bring out the Virgo naivete more? Or is it just me who thinks Virgos can be naive? Perhaps I’m naive, too. hehe.
ROFL! I googled “Virgo naive” and found this quote:
Pet Horoscopes-Cat Sun Signs
Your Virgo cat will always be innocent and naive. They are very trusting and obedient.
The Female Virgo Cat is very attractive. She’s a good companion but can be superficial at times. She wants everything to be squeaky clean. Her standards are quite high, and it usually takes her a while to find a human that she feels is worthy of her. She’s an excellent housekeeper — never misses the litterbox and is always covering up after the cats who don’t cover up for themselves.
Is cheated-on-Cheater still married herself??
Virgo-Children learn about relationships from their parents’ relationships. Are these the kinds of relationships you’re hoping for them to have? ‘Cause you can bet that if you continue this ongoing pattern, this is exactly what will seem “normal” to them as they grow up and start their own romantic ties.
I’m not sure how this situation leaves you feeling “loved” in any sense of the word. What you’ve got is exactly the same thing you left: a guy who cheats on you. Granted, this guy is “cheating” with his wife, but it’s still somebody not willing to be only with you. And on top of it, he has the gall to be “jealous” of the possibility that, as a single woman, you might develop a relationship with an available man. That’s incredibly selfish. Somebody who really cared about you would want to you have a complete, fullfilling relationship, even if it was with somebody else. People who love you want what’s best for YOU.
If you find yourself repeating relationship patterns like you are here, it’s probably not all about the “other people” involved. You may want to consider counseling to find out what’s driving you to get and stay in these situations. Otherwise, even if you do break up with Mr. Personality here, there will be another just like him to take his place.
Good luck from another Virgo. 🙂
@ Hannah SQ
Well, i’m not a Virgo myself, but have Virgo Rise and Moon (i’m a Cancer, so my Moon sign is very important).
For the moment, i’m single… sometimes it’s boring, sometimes it feels like freedom…
Now, more then ever, i don’t want to get into a relation if something ain’t right…
And the flirts… well, now i feel to old for that
Well sister.. since it’s only been a couple of months you should try and get out of it instead of wait for eternity with nothing unchanged..
considering the guy is kind of obsessed, he can get worse with time…
As a virgo woman myself I know how scary entering real love relations can be.But Virgos r no dumbies in matters of the Heart,about whats real and whats bull! put yourself in his wifes shoes.He QUIT on her! but yet he doesnt have the morals to divorce her and respect for u to give u pure love.You entered A complete LIE!!!
Hi, scorpion and my lover is virgo from bottom of the heart I’m deeply love her. I do what ever she asks me truelove. But I really don’t understand her true carector but I know she love me. I’m mentally very tired thinking about her the same time I don’t want to miss her.