What does a man with Venus in Scorpio want?

I know what you’re thinking, you don’t even need to say it. But “sex” just isn’t going to cut it for this guy. He wants a transformative experience with his woman. What does that mean?

It means he wants to know that intimacy with him is incredibly meaningful for you, that a relationship with him moves you on a fundamental level, that he has emotionally rocked your world. This man works backward in relationships; he is likely to get to know you on a superficial level *after* he has gotten to know you on a carnal level. This can cause some early and inappropriate bonding that is more difficult to extricate from than he’d like to admit, but it’s how he works. If he’s got you in his laser beams, and you’d prefer to get to know him the old fashioned way, it’s easy to do. Intimacy can take many forms, and what he wants, bottom line, is to know you psychologically. So… share who you are. Don’t be afraid to really show him your depths; he’s going to find out anyway. Tell him your secrets– they are safe with him!

This is not a lighthearted Venus, although once you have been thoroughly investigated by him and he trusts you, things lighten up considerably. But most certainly, there will be a testing period. Fixed water is deeply emotional and not likely to shift gears easily, so if, for instance, he “feels” jealous of a conversation you are having with another man, your efforts to brush off his fears are not going to work. You’re going to have to explain yourself. Look him right in the eye while you’re doing it. Don’t minimize his concerns, and for God’s sake, don’t start texting on your phone in the middle of it all. Give him your undivided attention and show him that you understand his feelings and that you are going to stick with him until he sorts it out.

If this sounds tedious to you, and you can’t afford to expend the energy necessary for such hoop-jumping, don’t be surprised if you experience the repercussions of a man whose Venus in Scorpio has been rebuffed or dismissed. He may briefly become obsessive, in the hopes that you can be made to see how important the issue is, but if you cannot descend into the depths with him, you will leave him no choice. You will cease to exist. This Venus can be ruthless in the ability to sever a tie. But there were warning rattles, you just didn’t listen! And those secrets you told him? Well, now they’re fair game. Hopefully he doesn’t have pictures.

If you are a woman of depth, who bonds deeply and loyally to her mate, and who isn’t afraid to be vulnerable he will go to the ends of the earth with you. He’ll tolerate your crazy like no one else. He’ll even tell you it makes him hot. Get it? He gets off on “complicated”.

67 thoughts on “What does a man with Venus in Scorpio want?”

  1. to be honest, the jealousy doesn’t stop, even years later. lol the other night i’m watching a Netflix series on a woman who travels in time to meet another man and she falls in love with another man. it was her destiny. of course it irritated me too because why did she not make a huge effort to get back to her original man who is not a wife beater or cheater. my husband was not happy as he was casually watching it, he is not into watching that stuff. but he will see what i’m watching and he was appalled and got really really angry that a woman would do that. Saying that she does not deserve a good man. But I wanted to keep watching the series and he was upset that I was watching it, like why would I keep watching something so horrible like that? I said to him, chill! I don’t approve either and if I were her, the original man is way better. anyway didn’t want to make this a long tirade but many things will get his ire, especially in the jealousy department/very possessive too. a man with this venus does not approve of disloyalty or even flirtation of looking at /entertaining it. You wont see him watching anything on films/or read anything that is pertaining on disloyalty. he truly hates it with a passion.

    1. Black and white, baby. What they love, they love forever and what they hate… ya know. I personally find this comforting, but I have Moon in Scorpio and a Pluto/Venus conjunction!

      1. “What they love, they love forever and what they hate” Sounds like me. I have Pluto in my 7th. Venus/Pluto. ๐Ÿ™‚

      2. I do find it comforting too, it feels really great to me. and it’s true what you wrote! that when they go the depths with you, they love your crazy. I think I understand what you mean about scorpio moons as well. Lady Gaga’s song, Bad Romance, lyrics…”I want your horror I want your design, your psycho…”

            1. it should! ๐Ÿ™‚ I am understanding the black and white that they describe deeply. I just had to experience it since words didn’t fully sink in, so when I compare words with action, I understand.

  2. My last significant lover was pretty much everything in Scorpio minus his Leo ASC. I felt very supported by his depth. I am a Taurus with Scorpio Pluto Rising, but the inconjuncts to all my Aries planets I think took its toll. He was also not the most mature/evolved. He definitely cut me off. I’m sure I played a role but I also felt like he needed the sour ending. He wanted me obsessing for his affection, which given our back story, after a couple failed attempts to be friendly I let it go entirely as well. Nonetheless, I do think being a complex woman with an immense amount of depth, I haven’t felt supported/Understood by anyone else In that unspoken way quite like someone with so much Scorpio. I need to go deep myself.

    1. Unfortunately, him “wanting you obsessing for his affection” is the dark side, indicating someone really insecure, and the only way they trust is if they can virtually “possess” the object of their affection.

      1. Right, I was definitely aware of his lack of evolvement over his energy. & that’s a hell of a lot of Scorpio! Our connection was very sexual based of course. It inadvertently became a very healing opportunity for me, so fortunately thanks to my own hard-earned maturity I was able to let go and appreciate it for what it was & even as he disappeared im still grateful for his energy. Pretty textbook Astro!

      1. I don’t have personal planets in Scorpio. And I’m a woman. However, I do have 8th house Sun – and asteroids & outer planet-oids that denote intensity conjunct my personal planets.
        That was preable to saying: This is my attitude, too. Relationships (love, and friendship) where I can’t be all in… for me that’s “acquaintances”.

    1. I would imagine that someone with dominant Air or Fire would totally find it exhausting. Earth and Water says… bring it!

      1. Yes! So true Diane. I don’t mind Scorpio –they all fall in my 4th. It’s a nice cozy familial connection. My chart is equally balanced between all the elements buuuut I do have Venus & Moon in air. I need to breeeeeeathe in love. Lots of space. Too much intensity and I have to come up for air or go running to the hills into my sanctuary of books. ?

          1. @elisa: Yaaaaas! That’s exactly why I snagged the Libra stellium, Sun in the 11th, Uranus-flavored man. He sends all the oxygen I need to my Aqua DC and airy planets. Our composite has a gianormous 11th stellium. Airrrrr, baby, airrrrr. ?

    2. Sometimes people want a free ride, the benefits without the cost. If Scorpio is willing to give 100% they have a reasonable expectation their partner would do the same.

  3. My Venus placement. And yes, I can identify with that. I hate shallowness and can be extreme. The Scorpio Venus is the type that wants to hurt their mate just to make them scream their name. And having Jupiter conjunct in Scorpio as well, extremes are important. There is no such thing as timidity or half way. I either love something or I loathe it. One must FEEL deeply like myself or I want nothing to do with them.

    1. Aaaahhh. I just replied, a minute ago, to a comment above, and suddenly, reading this, I feel a need to reply, here.
      My Moon *does* have two asteroids, conjunct, giving it – and my Venus, also conjunct – intensity. BUT, it’s still a Gemini Moon. Aka, that intensity has a Gemini nature. There can be lots of scope, in “shallow”. Light treatment of deep topics – not rare! … I simply wanted to add this to the conversation, by replying to a fellow Jupiter in Scorpio. ๐Ÿ™‚

      1. I have a Gemini Moon but it squares my Sun and Pluto, so I prefer depth to shallow. It intensifies my emotions. So, I guess you can say I am intensely curious about everything. Haha! And yes, that Jupiter sits near my Venus and it just magnifies the things that I love, namely all things Scorpio. My Neptune Scorpio is further along and sitting on my Midheaven, too. But I don’t do light treatment or skimming. Okay, the topics that I adore, I am endlessly exploring and trying to get to the very bottom of but of course that is impossible.

  4. I know a man with Venus in Pluto and he is in and out of relationships but there is one woman who he is eternally in love with. She’s taken. Talk about loving what’s complicated.
    I also know a woman in the same type of scenario. Is this common for Venus in Scorp?

    1. Yes, obsession can be hell for Plutonic people. Sometimes they just can’t let go. However, time does help immensely, especially if they stay away from the object of obsession.

  5. I dated a VIS but the positive side never really manifested. He was very secretive and it always worked against him. These days I find comfort in the straightforward nature of the earth signs. I will agree VIS takes a long time to shake away but for me it took a mars in Taurus man to surround me in the perimeter.

      1. It is, however, I can’t be with anything else. Mars in Scorpio freaks me out and mars in Aries scares me to death. Mars in Capricorn also not a good fit. I believe that those are all the exaltations and trines.

  6. Venus is in detriment in Scorpio for a reason. They can make it so hard to love them. It’s a lot of work. I have Venus in detriment too, but in Aries…Aries is supposedly selfish, non-compromising. But Aries is uncomplicated and straight forward vs Scorpio is extremely complicated And secretive. It can be a drain to love them.

    1. You know, I have to disagree. Venus in Aries can be complicated too— certain people find “straightforward” to be extremely unsettling! Venus in Aries can want one thing NOW and then another thing NOW a few minutes later. This drives fixed people nuts!
      I personally have never run across a problem loving someone with Venus in Scorpio. But I run deep, so it is as natural as breathing to me. I think it’s erroneous to think that Venus in Scorpio’s “detriment” is “worse” than Venus in Aries’ “detriment”. Both signs are totally capable of relationship, it just depends on how the other person is hard wired.

      1. I run very deep but my love nature is not very complicated. When I love I say what I feel readily. Venus in Scorpio is the opposite.

        Everyone can be complicated. But Aries by itself is not complicated.

        Straightforward..unsettling…yeah and Venus in Aries is in detriment.

        1. I didn’t say one is worse either. But I think one is more draining. Although I agree that being able to handle Venus in a sign depends on the other persona individual love nature.

          I think it’s erroneous to say that you can handle Venus in Scorpio because you run deep. Not everyone who runs deep necessarily would enjoy being with a venus in Scorpio. And not all Venus in Scorpio people necessarily that deep.

  7. Oh btw, I dated a Venus in Scorpio guy for a couple of years in highschool. He had a libra Sun/stellium. Shallowest mofo I’ve ever been with. Literally, the only thing he cared about was having a trophy. He liked his appearances. He was extremely vain and a sociopath, never mind he was the biggest goofy socially awkward dork ever. He put too much damn gel in his hair and he was always looking in the mirror to make sure no hairs were out of place. Always showed his huge teeth …every bit of them…when he smiled his big fake smile. Just my particular experience with Venus in Scorpio man…there are definitely better ones out there.

    1. There’s definitely levels to Scorpio it depends on which level. For me that VIS guy was a pita from the beginning and then he had secrets talk about an all around ice cream sundae ?

      1. Well that Libra stellium desposited the Venus. The Venus ruled the Libra planets. So technically the Venus should have been very strong. In a way it was…he was very manipulative. But deep…nah

        1. Scorpios are very manipulative if they are allowed to be. Many enjoy manipulating other people because to them it is a psychological game.

          1. Allowed to be? I certainly don’t think many people would allow themselves to be manipulated. Like “hey, I think I’d like to be manipulated today!”

            You mean you would need to be naive or too trusting? Certainly, I had to learn the hard way.

            I think Scorpio being manipulative is sometimes a way to protect themselves. This guy had a lot of air though. His manipulation was more detached. He was a sociopath through and through.

            1. Yes, I mean if they are allowed to be. There are times it can be so subtle that another person won’t even pick up on the fact they are being manipulated. Once the other person figures out the manipulation, then they can prevent it. I once manipulated my husband into an argument just for the hell of it. He figured out what I was doing and refused to continue. [We’ve been married 20 years this fall.] Like I said, sometimes the manipulation can be done just for fun.

      2. Hey!
        My Libra stellium takes offense! LOL (gem.venus here..we get a bum rap, too)
        I feel my this past years vanity/shallowness is directly caused by my progressed Sun@20ยฐleo recieving a transit thats activated it lol

  8. Diane, what a good day description of Venus in Scorpio men’s modus operandi! Thanks for saying it so well!, says my Jupiter in Scorpio. ๐Ÿ™‚

  9. Wound Venus in the 8th house, even in a different sign have some the same qualities because Scorpio is the ruler of that house?

    1. @Mary: Yes. Scorpio is the natural ruler of the 8th house. Any planet falling in the 8th house will take on the flavor of Scorpio. For instance, if you have Mercury in Libra in the 8th, the natural “see both sides” mentality of Mercury in Libra will have a depth to it, lending a great deal of desire to “see both sides” through to the bottom of the boat, so to speak.

  10. This is a very tantalizing description. i find my moon in scorpio friends have some commonality. Still i dont know if i have the qualities any of these venuses are looking for or want to fake them.

    My friend has venus in scorpio conjunct pluto and i dont see this in him.. however his pisces moon shows me what a sweet and loving person he is and how much he wants one person to love.



    Great article Diane!
    These qoutes came to my mind as I read your article. They are wuite fitting for a Scorpio, eh?

    I have Venus-Jupiter-Sun conjunct in Scorpio.
    Moon in 8th house. Pluto and Saturn in 8th house as well. Conjunct even.
    Mercury in Scorpio/8H.

    Scorpio energy much? I’m really not sure where my Venus ends and my other Scorpio starts LOL! But that disloyalty… oh yeah! Jelousy? Frar of loosing partners? Yeah. Testing before trusting? Yup! Death, transformation, rebirth? Beam me up, Scotty!

    Really, it stinks sometimes to be so Scorpio/Plutonic, but my BF has a Venus-Pluto trine… I you could say he likes “deep”, eh? Still, it’s Venus in Gemini and Pluto in Libra. And Gemini falss in my 4th/5th house. I’m SO WEAK when it comes to Geminis. Sigh.

  12. Dating someone with Scorp Venus and I noticed recently that he is slightly possessive and more observant than my former partners.

    His sex drive is off the charts too.

  13. AFter waiting almost 4 years for another Venus in Scorpio, I had to move on. Its been tough. I still have feelings for the Venus in Scorpio. He still wants me in his life in the capacity of a friend. Married to his career. It will kill me when he chooses someone else.

    1. It was 7 years for me. I cut him off unexpected. Months later I get a message from family he was looking for me and worried. I got in touch with him and he confessed his love and apoligized offering me things to make me happy. I’m so happy he showed his vulnerable emotions but I’m still in fear of his dark side. But I will give it one more try and appreciate his deep love but as soon as it get complicated I’m out for good. Lol

  14. How would a Sun/Mercury/Venus Scorpio man with Mars in Aquarius, Moon in Cancer and Gemini rising work with a Sun/Mercury/Venus Gemini woman with Mars in Cancer, Moon in Capricorn and Scorpio rising?

    We felt instant fireworks when we met which I guess is to do with our ascendants. My Scorpio ascendant appeals to the Scorpio in him and his Gemini ascendant appeals to the Gemini in me.

    Any thoughts on this combination?

  15. Was involved with a Venus in Scorpio man. Got badly hurt. I loved him intensely. There was great passion. It wasn’t enough for him. He seemed to enjoy hurting me – flirting with other women in front of me, saying cruel things, playing twisted mind games. This man had a stellium in Libra. Maybe some Venus in Scorpio men are better than this one. It was hard to break free because of the intensity.

  16. Safe to say Venus in Scorpio person / I have Venus and Mars in Scorpio and must have intensity and transformative sex … whether male or female …thatโ€™s what is needed.

  17. I knew a man (Mars/Sun conjunction; manly and charismatic) with a Venus/Neptune conjunction in his Scorpio 11H. This conjunction trined his 7H Cancer Moon. He had lots of long, intense (Scorpio) phone calls with his female (Venus) friends (11H) but never crossed the line for fear of losing his “Mommy” (Moon) partner (7H). What a tease.

  18. “He may briefly become obsessive, in the hopes that you can be made to see how important the issue is, but if you cannot descend into the depths with him, you will leave him no choice. You will cease to exist.”

    I just realized this is what I do in relationships if I can’t get through. I have even done with my mom these days. She doesn’t seem to acknowledge she hurts me deeply with certain things.

    But this time I have no time for drama about it. I have let her go in my mind and she will stay there until Hell freezes over, and she has understood my point.

    Unfortunately she is a triple Taurus… So she will not budge.

  19. it is ironic that the taurus/scorpio axis is so stubborn, and both have super strong will power and that is what it always says, that scorpio loves strong will power, yet, no one is gonna budge; it’s like some kind of torture dance ;_;

  20. my venus is in Scorpio and I want my partner to be mine in EVERY aspect, I want to know your whereabouts, whats going on in your head, and I want to take care of you. The only time I became controlling, annoying, and vindictive if i feel forsaken or … if i don’t have my way. So yall please don’t with venus in Scorpio unless you are willing to give in, and love on us, and accept a few flaws BUT SET BOUNDARIES.

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