Why Are Some People Constantly Miserable?

Have you ever noticed there are some people who are just never happy? They are always complaining about something, nothing is ever right, nothing is ever good enough.

They complain about you, they complain about their life, they complain about their neighbor, their boss, their lover or their ex-friend but never, ever stop and think their unhappiness and/or dissatisfaction might originate in them.

If they can just get the other person to fill-in-the-blank, their life would be okay.   Yeah, right. This is a Saturn in Libra topic of course.

The burden is over ——–> there.

Know anyone like this? How do you handle them?



21 thoughts on “Why Are Some People Constantly Miserable?”

  1. yes I do, but how i deal with them depends on my relationship with them.

    With my family member who is like this, she tends to trap me in the car so I put on the radio and stare out the window. recently had the opportunity to tell her i didn’t want to hear her crap anymore…so i did.

    With co-workers like this, I like to give them the opportunity to STFU by changing the subject. For all I know they want to stop bellyaching and can’t? failing that, i go hang out in the bathroom a while.

    Often I get cornered by strangers: a few months back an old man started complaining about doctors who “force pills on me”–he wanted to “line them up against the wall and shoot them” and then I employed my best defence: asking a reasonable question:

    “Why don’t you stop taking the pills if you hate them so much?”

    ah…people in the people-y season…

  2. I sure do, but often, I won’t notice that they are so miserable because my first reaction is to listen, help them find a solution, talk it out, etc. Then when I’m not around the person, I realize I’m completely drained and depressed and wonder why. Ha.
    Saturn in Libra…boundaries anyone?

  3. I have to keep some distance from them. I feel bad at times (if it’s a good friend) but… it’s like self-preservation — can be completely draining. And this is after trying to help — I have a lot of patience to help (if asked), but then… it runs out.

  4. Yes I am a Saturn/Libra. And I think I DID feel entitled for many years. Now, when I hear people complain, whine and blame, I turn on, tune in and drop out. Not to be harsh, but I can’t help but give them a few suggestions toward self empowerment, but step away if they are deaf.

    I don’t mean this as coming from any sort of superiour consciousness or anything like that, because I do believe that every one has their own soul’s journey and schedule. And plus I have always had this Libra ability to see and empathize with all people no matter where they are coming from.

    Yet I know I need more boundaries.

  5. ditto, alicia. Many people seem to latch onto my unusually high sensitivity. it took me years to learn how to block negative energy suckers off, they would invade my psychic space and I would be consumed by an emotion which did not belong to me.
    I deal with this a whole lot better nowadays. Could mercury sq neptune be to blame ? with neptune being in the third, of course…

  6. Yeah, Im married to one :/
    My mother is the same way. Sooo I grew up with an unhappy person and then married an unhappy person.
    I deal by ignoring as much as humanly possible. Its really hard to take someone like that seriously though..because they complain & what runs through MY mind is “Youre unhappy about something? So what makes today different from every other day?”

  7. I would not be able to feel anything but sympathetic to them. If they are miserable as opposed to irritable and pessimistic, as in, letting it spill over onto you. But if they are genuinely seeing themselves in tricky circumstances and thus feel compelled to behave in that manner, my heart goes out to them.

  8. If I can’t easily let it roll off my back I’ll physically withdraw from the situation or distance energetically. I might reconsider if the complainer decides to genuinely look for a solution and asks for it, but that’s usually not the case for the people you talk about here, unless they hit bottom, at which point they probly need professional help anyway.

  9. My hubby used to be like that, constant complaining. But a few years ago, I learned that if I give him a good dose of reality about the situation he is currently complaining about,and tell him to step up to the plate and take responsibility, he shuts up.

  10. This is a tough one….given my venus is pisces trine neptune, im a sucker for a “woe is me type”. I gently try and point out all that is right in their lives…but that only makes some complainers more angry…at which you just gotta walk away and let them stew in their misery…and hope they run to the light when the dark becomes unbearable.

  11. Today I said I was happy and someone told me I was not.

    I told them I was and also that I was in a position to know.

    ::shakes head::

  12. I read this week that recent studies have shown that antidepressants can change personality indicators for neuroticism and pessimism for the better. There’s some hard-wiring going on in our brain chemicals for this type of thing.

    Negativism is a downward spiral. I don’t mean to be a pollyanna, but I think this points to why having some type of gratitude journal or list on a daily basis can help. It can’t be a platitude, either, there has to be some real recognition of the positives… there’s something to be said about a mind-spirit connection.

  13. If I could edit this… this sounds very trite. There are other major problems that can’t be handled with ‘positives’. I didn’t mean to say that. This is a specific, woe-is-me for my day-to-day stuff, which I have a hard time tolerating.

  14. Yeah, I’m writing a book that begins with that situation. My dad was a scientist with a 160 IQ and he married a woman who shared his negative, defeatist attitude. Together they left me behind, a child to be raised alone by my drug addicted mother who became an optimist. My life has been severely affected by negative, poisonous people, my son’s father who left me pregnant and said I would not handle single motherhood. I avoid negative people at all costs now, life is too short to complain it all away. Joy costs nothing, enriches your life like nothing else. Jupiter 10th, trine sun square neptune, sun opp. saturn. Maybe that explains my life.

  15. Oh Elsa, I saw that – it was awesome.

    How do I deal with it? I am my buoyant self, of course. Actually it depends – if it’s one of my tribe slipping into it, I tease them and tell them surely the Universe in its malevolence conspires against them, and we are all here simply to make them miserable. (to my friends this is obvious sarcasm and makes them laugh)

    With people I don’t know well, I do my best to quickly and politely move on and stop listening.

  16. Late, I know, but my father falls into this one. He’s not much of a complainer, though. Just someone who seems to have had a lifelong depression.

    Cancer Sun-Saturn, Capricorn Moon

    “Life is Hard” is his favorite saying.

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