Dear Elsa,
I would like to know if Scorpio males can stay with someone if they are not truly in love. I sometimes get the feeling a Scorpio will stay in a bad relationship rather than being alone.
Cancer Woman|
Australia
Hi, Cancer Woman.
I’d say a Scorpio man (or woman) can easily stay with someone they don’t love although I think you’ve got the motive wrong.
Scorpio would stay for the resources the person provides, be it money, sex or some other form of energy.
Consider the Scorpios who lurk here. Is it because they love me? I don’t think so!
Anyone else?
Have a question about life or astrology? Ask here!
Uhhhh….Since I have 3 planets in Scorpio would I be one of those “lurkers”?! Good grief, that is definitely not what I want to be.
If I am a “lurker” then how do I come out of the shadows? 🙁 Any advice?
Jamie, you’re not a lurker. You comment all the time. A lurker is someone who lurks silently!
Plus I don’t mind the lurkers. There is an exchange and I am supported by it.
My point was the people who lurk her are in a relationship with me. They stay in it lurking for years and love is not necessarily in the equation.
Point is there is energy here and so there are Scorpios. Scorpio is attracted to energy – PERIOD
Okay, I got it. You have INTENSE energy which feeds the Scorpion. Personally, I LOVE your energy! I really cannot explain it other than you speak to my soul, Elsa.
I cannot imagine not coming here for your daily wisdom!
I have a big mouth so lurking is pretty difficult for me to do. : D
Is there a difference between stalking and lurking, Elsa?
I’m married to a Scorpio; rising, Sun,Mercury and Venus. We have struggled to stay married for years, and are still together. I’d say yes. lol
(Why am I still here? I’m a caregiver! hah)
What is your sign
Hmm… in my experience… the male scorpion is unbelievably patient and will wait forever for the “right thing” that is worthy of him. So, if he is in a relationship, he must on some level think it “right.” The ones I know would rather be alone than with the wrong one who would deplete their energy…
Not sure about the women. My mother was scorpio but she was so secretive… and put up with a lot (i.e. unhappy relationships).
I am not scorpio but do have Pluto in the 1st. And Elsa’s answer actually kind of fits me… I would stay for the resources/energy…. once that dropped off… it would be pretty hard to stay. So it doesn’t have to be love… but it has to be SOMETHING…
“Is there a difference between stalking and lurking, Elsa?”
Oh yeah. Stalking implies aggression to me. Lurkers just lurk. They absorb energy and go on their way. They have a meal here like reading the morning paper. You don’t interact with the morning paper, you just read it.
Some lurkers surface, others never surface. Most who surface only do so briefly, sort of like a submarine lifting it’s periscope.
How often do you send a letter the editor of the newspaper you read? Some people write all the time, some people never write and some people write if sufficiently moved to. It’s that same here.
For example, the scorps showed themselves when I put that poll up asking who reads here. They wanted their presence known at that point. They wanted to be counted… for me to know they were there, otherwise they’d have kept quiet – passed that poll by, but no.
good one!
I guess I’m a Scorpio Lurker!! I read this blog everyday almost and never comment.
I have 5 planets in Scorpio and I have to agree with Elsa, it’s very energetic. Depending on the Scorpio, it is either positive or negative. I’m the kind of person who hangs in there till the bitter end, but when I’m done, I’m done.
i was looking at my scorpio friend’s FB profile…not stalking perse just looking…also looked at the profiles of his friends. is that grounds for him to suddenly cut me loose? i thought that no one knows that you are looking at their profile page.
As far as I know, you can’t see who is looking at your profile on fb. They have no motivation to provide a user with that info.
WOW! I love scorpios!….and I hate them…and I love them. They are the pitbulls of skies. Like Cassi may be I am inmunized against them. May be still the hate ties them more than love. My best friend trough years is a scorpio ascendant (with mars conjunt asc in scorpio) I think he is the only person that can understand me, and wait for my return because I am phobic to commitment, I stop rapidly and easily friendships that I do with the same facility – He have a venus-libra and a sadge stellium (with jupiter in it) He is not a lurker, nevertheless has attacked secretly several blogs and sites, and other times openly in the name of “truth” I call him a crusade man at the wrong time
my scorpio moon gives me a lot of scorpio energy and so agree with caramia — i’m ultra loyal (and that speaks to venus in leo, too) but when i’m done, you’re toast and nothing, i mean nothing, can persuade me to stick around.
For some reason you tickled both my funny-bone and my truth-bone, Elsa (usually one at a time, it is). It explained… a LOT. About a lot.
I’m an Aries but I have Pluto in the third house and Mercury in the eighth. I would consider myself the “submarine lifting it’s periscope”. I’m drawn in by Elsa’s realness and the depth on this blog…My Capricorn boyfriend has a Venus in Scorpio and stayed in a loveless marriage to a Scorpio woman. He was willing to stay in it because he made a commitment and it was the honorable thing to do in his mind. When she finally was done using him for his resources she left.
I agree with the other Scorpios — it’s not about being alone, its about loyalty and commitment. I stand with someone I love until all possible hope is gone… but like caramia said, when I’m done, I’m done.
Well then tell me what woud you do if u r in love bt u r somehow compelled to marry someone else for the love of ur single parent… Would u remain in love even after getting married to the other lady…?
I am a Scorpio, and I’m certainly a lurker here. But I dont kind my leuker status 🙂
And I do have a habit of staying in relationships that are less than healthy… I just know that when its over, it will truly be over. And i want to give it a good chance to work before giving up on it.
Hi there,
To answer the original question! Absolutely! I, personally, stayed in a rotten marriage with a rotten person for way too long. Because of my ‘limpet x labrador’ commitment levels. Scorpio coupled with Capricorn Ascendant will do that to you i suppose. But there is the other type of uber-promiscous Scorpio too who’s always looking out for the next-best-thing.
And yes, I lurk here. I used to comment regularly but have been real busy with real-life of late.
Hello Elsa!
fondly
Carrie
<y message before is supposed to say “I don’t mind my lurker status”. I was writing really fast and mis-spelled words, becuase my sister was lurking over my shoulder and asking what i was doing. So it seems that i really do feel more comfortable lurking than actually making comments… i wouldnt have minded her being there so much if i was just reading. But i still wouldnt have wanted her there.. Haha am i secretive, or what?
We know Scorpios can be a Stinger, a Phoenix, and rising to the Dove. I think scorpio Doves are hard to beat, but they seem to be a rare breed.
My study of scorpios has been pretty extensive(hands on and otherwise) and I would be happy to share a scorpio “Sting or Wing” list, if anyone is interested.
I’ve never heard of the Scorpio Dove myth. I’d love to see a scorpio “Sting or Wing” list, 4tuna.
Here is an article regarding the stages of Scorpio. This one describes seven stages.
http://carolynreynolds.net/blog/the-seven-stages-of-scorpio-how-to-understand-the-mysterious-one
I remember my stinger phase. I remember reading an article regarding the constructive and destructive uses of the “stinger.” It described how it can be used to hurt people. It also described how the stinger can also be symbolic of the act of probing or entering difficult “spaces” for the purpose of gaining knowledge and wisdom. In this sense, the stinger in the form of curiosity that delves into things, that explores difficuIt spaces can turn into knowledge, the gains of insight and wisdom. I decided that I want to alter the way I used mine. Of course, I slipped from time to time, yet I am glad to say, that it has been quite a while that my focus has been primarily on the more constructive end. This is possible.
I’m intrested
“Sting or wing?” Like characteristics or something? I am interested, 4tuna.
“Sting or Wing”
Here are the attributes for Scorpio’s Stinger(unconscious survival mode)and the Dove(conscious loving mode). It’s easy to see how the Stinger depletes energy and the Dove energizes. enJOY!
heavy – lighthearted
sulking – exuberant
brooding – playful
suspicious – trusting
blaming – fact finding
limiting – expanding
frowning – smiling
withholding – giving
killjoy – ecstatic
scattered – grounded
jealous – encouraging
controlling – allowing
fault finding – respectful
fearful – courageous
mean spirited – joyful
indifferent – committed
confusing – focused
depleting – energizing
distant – engaging
betrayal seeking – welcoming
motive probing – supportive
fickle – sincere
crude – thoughtful
excusing owning
victim pleading – responsible
persecuting – healing
dividing – guiding
burdened – spirited
blank – expressive
thoughtless – considerate
judging – forgiving
black hole – milkyway
wet blanket – adventurer
Great list! Just realized I was replying to a post from years ago, 2008.
4tuna – Dang! That’s impressive. Thanks for posting this… I will post it on the front of the blog so it gets a larger audience if you like. Who do I credit?? 4tuna? Do you have a blog or a website?
As a three planet in Scorp Sadge, all people who know me for any length of tend can be uncomfortable with my tremendous energy. Lets put it this, they’d be more comfortable with a whole lot less intensity and/or charm. Which is why its so obvious when im NOT in love with someone, so personally its doomed to failure because most likely they will know when my ardor has cooled. Nonetheless, somenone who truly has my heart, i wouldnt want that to die.
*blinkblink* 4tuna, that list is awesome!!! I’d love to see one for the other signs as well, it’d really help me to see what I need to work on to be my best self. Where can I find more info?
For the original question, it seems like this is a function of Venus, right? So would a Scorpio Venus stick around if he didn’t love someone?
From my experience, absolutely!
My current man is Mars-Venus-Uranus conjunct in Scorpio, 12th with Scorp rising. His MO has always been to stick around but withdraw emotionally and ween his partner off slowly so that the pain of seperation is less (in his words). Which, IMHO, is bullshit. It’s likely gonna hurt your partner anyway, so just amputate! Which, I guess is the difference between Mars-Venus-Uranus conjunct and Mars-Venus-Pluto conjunct. 🙂 But like everyone has said, once a Scorp falls out of love, the feelings are dead and buried and will not, cannot be resurrected. At least not as far as I’ve seen.
Elsa & SaDiablo,
Glad you enjoyed it and please add to it if you want. (My research has been centered on the 8th sign as I have a ton of planets in the 8th house). I don’t have a blog but a colleague does that is a numerologist, author, and energy workshop leader who is a positive force in helping people to wake up:
Add the word lifemath after the net/ and see his numerology page
thank you
I’ve heard of the Sting and Phoenix. But, not until now the Dove.
It reminds me of someone that is Pisces sun with Moon and Rising Scorpio. This person fits the Dove so well. I didn’t realize it until reading this. Cool!
“Scorpios love energy.” PERIOD. This is such good feed for this Scorp … catching up as per sometimes. Yes, I stayed with a marriage for 23 yrs because there WAS something … love I wasn’t sure. Security/distance from the old sh– yes. And then … the SOMETHING went away, and the Aries took his marbles, called for a divorce and I needed to find new energy. Ah, ha.
Where was I when this thread began in Feb 08? Geez, living on the streets … reading this now and it’s a perfect time to stroke the DOVE in me Scorpian soul. Thank you 4Tuna whereEVER you are.
Scorpio is like an introverted Fire sign.
yeah, unhuh – till we burn the house down!
It is interesting this question is put before us today?
Today i visited some friends, they are a couple, he is a scorpio and she is a cancer.
My timing was wrong visiting them as they were in the middle of a dispute?
She felt unloved and i do not know what he felt? as i did not want to stay as they were having a serious discussion about ending their relationship?
The Scorpio ex who got engaged within months after me, married an Aries, supported *her* through college, and she became a Doctor. (I’m a single mother.)
I’d say he got something out of supporting *her*, not me.
My Scorpio ex married an Aries right after me, too, and it’s been a shitshow. He told me he’s very unhappy (nah bro, not your escape hatch this time, sez I – lol) but he doesn’t want to lose access to his kids. He sees her homemaking and childcare services as valuable, but the kids are both in school and he has tried unsuccessfully to get her back into a full-time job because he’s obsessed with money. He’s also everything else on the Scorpion part of that list! I was having flashbacks just reading it. Brrr.
My mother is scorpio sun and moon (and Venus and mercury) — 4th house stellium. She’ll stay with my father until the end though it’s a miserable relationship for everyone else. But she gets things from it. As does he.
@Morgan: what scorpio marries and aries? I think he sounds shady even beyond being just a dirtbag…
i love these threads.. i can pull out the bits and pieces that make me scorp, and that don’t. 4tuna’s list from way back when is awesome!! i am totally all of those these; both sides.
as for staying in a relationship for the energy, even if it isn’t right. YEP. but i think for me, i’ve stayed because i thought that it could become right (there was a long time when i thought/hoped i could influence/change people for the better.. that time is done). but all of those relationships ended of course.. the energy fizzled/became stagnant/toxic.
at this point (after being bombarded by saturn for the past two years), i am happy to say my ideas of relationships have changed. i am now more so on the “wing” side of the spectrum. my relationships are still based on levels of energy, but now it is more the combination of energy rather than what i can leach off another.
I have Ascendant, Mercury and Uranus in Scorpio. I guess I was a lurker for awhile, but recently I find myself commenting more. I love you in the sense that I have a lot of respect and admiration for your bluntness and ability to help/deal with people. You keeps it real from your own paradigm and f**k the folks who can’t take a joke! Of course, I don’t know you personally, so my love for you isn’t fully manifested, but if I lived close to you, I’d want to hang out, drink tea or wine, kick it. My Cappy Venus Square Saturn hopes that you’d have time to do this because I don’t like rejection, but I know you’re a busy lady. 😀
Scorpio sun, rising and Mars here.
I am intensely loyal, so I will stick around when others have packed it in, but I won’t stick around forever. Once the line is finally, firmly crossed, there’s no going back.
I was married for 15 years, and was only in love with my husband for 6 of them. The next ten was deciding if I really wanted out, and then gathering the resources to leave. I even told my husband I was working on my exit strategy, and yet he was completely surprised when I actually did leave.
Scorp asc and progressed sun in scorp. Natal 8th house gem/can. I am here because it is thought provoking. As in life in general, if it gets too randy or dark I retreat into my cancer shell. I have my limits with saturn in scorp.
PS. I have tended to stay in too long. But sooner or later the rot and decay will get to me. Leave or die. I probably could take a lesson from that message on the wall thing and save myself some hardship.
I am a lurker here on this site with a lot of Scorpio in my chart.
I lurk around this blog, because Elsa’s energy is pure…pure meaning that I’ve never felt like I’ve been fed a pile of horse crap. I appreciate direct, upfront communication, a straight-shooter.
Who would you love more: someone who pulls the band aid off your arm hair by hair -OR- someone who’s going to rip the band-aid off in one swoop? I prefer choice #2.
I feel that there has to be love involved for a Scorpio to even choose to lurk. 🙂
If a Scorpio chooses to stay in a bad relationship, I feel it has zero to do with being afraid to be alone. It probably has almost everything to do with Ego, and being unable to face that the relationship we chose to invest in is like a black hole/an energy vampire…sucking the very life out of us, but I agree with a lot of you: When it’s done, IT IS DONE. At least this is how I feel.
Scorp rising and lurker here. Because it’s hard for me to place more than 3 intelligible words together (native french) and because Elsa’s great advices + she talks so sincere and so smart. Thanks Elsa, I love U 🙂
ps: I’m ok with DharmicDrummer, I’d said the same if I could
Thank you, xglop! 🙂
Hi Elsa, it’s been awhile since I too have commented on your blog. I have a stellium in Scorpio; including the sun.
Capricorn gives me purpose and strength. I admire your focused concentration and dry sense of humor
Love
Kelly
Thank you, Kelly. 🙂
Thanks Rantares. 🙂 I’m just now realizing that I really don’t give a damn about him anymore. You’ve just validated that for me. 🙂
Hey, superscorpio bjork married an aries!
I totally agree with the Elsa answer. I have been married to a Scorpio for many years.
Bjork is a crazy scorpio she beat up a reporter once! Probably more we haven’t heard of. I’m afraid of her. Oh and my sister the scorpio when we were kids she would always get my arms in a deadlock position. She was violent. But she overcame her violent ways (actually we were having fun but she was also a violent chick like me) and is now working with severely retarded children. So she ascends her lower instincts every day with that job thank god! or we’d be in serious trouble lol. Don’t let her catch me writing this lmao. Ah I love her.
i was reading an article on bjork, it is disturbing and distressing if she just went cray on someone who just welcomed her into the city even if it’s a reporter. However Bjork said the woman was harassing her for 4 days. she’s got that cap venus/cap mars and a stelium scorpio. capricorn can get down too.
I don’t see Bjork as a liar. I’m sure the reporter deserved it to an extent. I’m glad Bjork at least saw her part in it, and didn’t excuse her actions.
Hi There!
Yes! My husband is a Scorpio and DOES NOT LOVE ME ANYMORE!! He has proven it from the 5 year affair that he has been engaged in…off and on. He stays with me because I take care of the business and home for him. Things he can’t do for himself. He is one of the unevolved Scorpios…in my opinion. His sting is terrible!!! I, however, am a Sun in Pisces with Libra rising. Totally different.
@Amber’s story; some of the stories on here are really sad. 🙁
Thank you! Just found your blog and have bookmarked it!
I wouldn’t stay with anyone I didn’t love. But if you have children and a mortgage its not easy to just run out the door.
I have been married too many times :/ and I am the one that left each time. No love no me. I am not afraid to be alone and in fact would rather be alone that be in a loveless relationship.
Once gone….long gone. Never to return, communicate, visit for old times sake. Never thought of the term amputate till I came here to visit. That word rings bells for me. Bye means you never existed in my world.
Now, all that said…. I sure do have a whole lot of love to offer. That kind that would stand loyal to the bitter end. Just have to get some back.
I have both sun and moon, as well as pluto and mercury in scorpio and I definitely stuck out a very unfulfilling relationship regardless of my unhappiness out of a deep sense of loyalty and committment towards to my former partner. I can genuinely say that I have only felt that one amazing, soul level, deep connection once. And as hard as it was to deal with my partner’s insecurities, jealousies and overall self esteem issues (which were a huge turn off both figuratively and literaly speaking) it took me over a year of fighting for us to regain what we had, until I finally let go. Maybe it was my own sense of dependence on him, but I really do believe that once a scorpio TRULY loves, it’s absolutely forever. Sometimes you just can be with the person in spite of that love.
My friend is a Capricorn married to a Scorpio
They have been married over 25 years an you can tell they are both miserable. He stays away for weeks at a time. She Saud it’s been over four years having sex. I can’t understand why they don’t see it’s not good a just get a divorce. She has never worked so I know that’s part of the problem. He will have to support her. We all know he’s seeing other women.