When we talk about interpreting Lilith in the natal chart, it’s important to stress that it is a process. Myth makes it clear that there is a distinct Lilith journey, and in order to fully come into our power, we must recognize where we are in that journey. We’ve talked already about identifying the wound. That is the first step. In the second step, we begin to grapple with our pain and fury.
For this, we have to understand the value of acknowledging the wound. When we are wounded to the core, we are forced to reckon with the fact that the world had in some ways turned against us. It is almost always knowledge we wish we didn’t have. In fact, one of the best ways to get in touch with this part of ourselves is to ask what it is that we know about the world and about ourselves that we desperately wish we did not know. What it is about the workings of the world that leaves you wracked with fury?
When we are able to pinpoint this, it is essential to let ourselves feel the pain and outrage. To paraphrase Clarissa Pinkola Estes in Women Who Run With the Wolves, when we awaken to our blood loss, it is then that we are truly beginning to live. This can appear in any number of ways. One woman I know very well as Lilith conjunct the nadir on the 3rd house side. As an adolescent, she used to sit outside her parents’ bedroom at night, chest heaving with sobs until she thought her ribs would break, wondering why they didn’t hear her, why no one would come to help. Another woman has Lilith conjunct Neptune in the 2nd house. She spent her entire life trying desperately to build some semblance of self-esteem, to prove her value, and was laid low over and over by the way that it would seem to evaporate every time. It was only when she was able to connect this pain to the childhood abuse she had experienced and really sit with that pain that she was able to begin to heal.
So before we and before we fight like wild animals for our survival, before we whitewash our wounds and try to make Lilith’s presence soft and beautiful, and before we truly come into our power, we must acknowledge our wound. Anything else is avoidance. I know it’s hard. Lilith is meant to make us uncomfortable. She is meant to be unruly and frightening. But when we are finally look that terrifying wounded animal in the eye, we see our own face staring back at us. And then we begin to heal.
How have you come to terms with your wound? Where has that process led you?
OMG! I was just thinking about Lilith and wondering what’s going to happen when she’s in Aries; will she be less hidden (Pisces)? and when alongside Mars in Aries; will she be more feisty?
Perhaps we also have to decide what we want (Venus retrograde 2020), before we “act”.
I’m loving these articles and Lilith discussions – thank you!
My Lilith is conjunct 3H cusp. Could that be interpreted as the wound encompassing both 2H and 3H? Would make sense to me as I have been scapegoated by my siblings and my husbands siblings. Gives weight to the thought of ‘you find what you know’…
I know things of pain but they events long gone, I tell myself daily; I need no fear
It makes me worry about the stupidest things
Our relationship with the point opposite the Black Moon – the other focal point of the Moon’s elliptical orbit that is buried in the Earth – provides a gateway into the expression of our Black Moons. That point has a fixed Earth – almost Taurean quality to it regardless of its sign and house. It is a very familiar form of expression for us that needs to be pruned back and eliminated to a significant degree. Allowing that elimination is painful but it also opens and frees up the Black Moon.
Interesting
This is interesting. Is there any resources you can recommend to explore further?
I studied a bit with Dawn Bodrogi ” The Inner Wheel”. She wrote and taught extensively about the Black Moon.
But the Black Moon is such an unique piece – much like the Sun – that any knowledge or experience from external sources or teachers always seems to fall short…..
I am just learning through these articles what IS Black Lilith exactly. She lives in my Pisces 4th house and I can tell you my mother had anger issues. She competed through arguing with her male guests and was quite an opponent. Maybe facing my anger is something that needs to be done to heal my wound.
I have Lilith at 11 Capricorn, conjunct Mercury, Venus, (and FWIW, Juno) at 10 Capricorn all in my 5H.
I’m not sure what it means, really. The only thing I might put my finger on is, I was always afraid to have children, for fear of making them feel the way my parents did me at times. Also, I firmly believed that if I were to ever change my mind, Is as not going to have a child without a husband. At the time, this was me selfishly saying, *I* needed attention and care, too, by my husband, and us together for the child. Well, I am long past childbearing but I don’t think I was wrong in a desire for a husband and father for a child. I was probably scared and wanted 5H things my whole life. But I’m here now and I guess that’s where I need to be. I have granddaughters now so I feel blessed that way.
Other than that…I don’t know what’s up with my Lilith.
Thank you Midara for opening up a discussion on this.
I have come to terms with the wound. Sun/Pluto/MC conjunct Lilith in Libra. I was raised by two people who projected (still do) their self hatred onto their children. Its weird but I felt disloyal when I was happy, so I hid my light and beauty from them, and then eventually from myself.
I did face this. It led me to being more independent, although I dont think Im fully healed. I still miss the Garden sometimes and have a little anger about the fairness of it all. This is deep collective shit, its not understood in a day I guess.
can anyone tell me how to find out where lilith is in my chart? 6/19/52
Sure! I mentioned it briefly in my other post, https://elsaelsa.com/astrology/mean-or-true-black-moon-lilith-which-is-correct/
“…the easiest way is to head to astro.com and go to the Additional Objects field at the bottom of the page. First, click on Lilith. That is Mean Lilith. Then, on the right side of the page, under Manual Entry, put in h13. That is True Lilith.”
sorry i can’t find that. i found the site, am i supposed to figure out where to put in my chart info? couldn’t find that, i know my chart have known it for years but……… dont see additional objects either at bottom of home page
ok found it on another site, seems like i have it in my first house in leo with my pluto. 9 degrees for lilith,18 for pluto.
What about Lilith in a male chart? How does that react?
Welcome, Maggie!
The basic process is the same regardless. Men can be wounded freedom fighters too! That said, there are some differences in the way it plays out in real life. I’ve got a post planned on that. 🙂