What are some common examples of Neptune affected love relationships? The number one way to obscure reality so that fantasy can thrive is to access to the beloved be denied in some way. The keyword or key concept for Venus Neptune is “divine discontent” so if you want to get some of this fine pain going, it’s easily done in a number of ways.
Here are the top six Venus Neptune picks:
- Pick someone married.
- Be heterosexual but pick someone homosexual.
- Pick a priest, or any other unavailable religious entity.
- Pick someone in prison
- Pick someone drug addicted or otherwise highly compromised.
- Pick someone who lives 1000 miles away.
For Venus Neptune all of these situations provide plenty of opportunity to pine and sacrifice. In all 6 situations, forming a reeeeal relationship is all but impossible. This is critical to Venus Neptune because the goal is to avoid mundane reality in relationship.
If someone is going to lie around and pine for their married lover, they are not apt to visualize the hair left in the sink when they leave the bathroom, or the dirty laundry the person will generate. Instead, Venus Neptune can focus all their energy into imagining… well… anything they please. This is the appeal. A love so grand, you can only imagine it.
Once the relationship is established, the if only, if only, if only starts up..
“If only the governor would pardon my boyfriend!”
“Is he locked up for triple homicide?”
“That’s just a detail and besides, he says he didn’t do it He was railroaded!”
Al-Anon meetings across the land are filled with men and women with Venus Neptune in their charts. If only he/she would stop shooting up, drinking and snorting and stealing and lying and, and, and…if only, he/she would see how much I love them, w could live happily ever after in the land of “a perfect union” where the partner is always tender, never cross, both parties are completely fulfilled and at peace every minute of the day.
No farting. No cluttered surfaces. No relatives. No body fat. No burned dinner. No dirty kitchen floor!
So how does it come undone?
Well, how can it NOT come undone?
Venus Neptune has magic, but sheesh – this is a tall order. The beloved certainly can’t deliver and surprise of all surprises – either can Venus Neptune! They cannot live up to their own myth.
Venus Neptune postpones this scene as long as possible but eventually they cannot “paint” fast enough to cover all the “bleak” and their castle built on sand starts to crumble.
The cycle can take a few weeks or months if the rest of the chart is highly mutable. If mostly “fixed” then it can take a year, two years, or even a lifetime but ultimately, the veil drops and now the Venus Neptune person is devastated.
How could you do this to me, they cry. After alllll I did for you! Drat! Foiled again! Stuck with yet another mortal! ARRRRRRRRRGH, why does this keep happening to me????
But what about the partner? Yesterday they could do no wrong. Today they are thrown out like trash.
Er…who is the victim here?
Venus Neptune bumper stickers… can double as Country Music song titles 🙂
“Will Sacrifice For Love”
“The More I Love, I More I Ache”
“Ask Me About The Love I Never Got”
(see part one – Delusion in Love – effects)
Do you have Venus in aspect to Neptune in your chart, Venus in Pisces, Neptune in the 7th, Venus in the 12th?
I have a 12th house Venus in detriment (Aries), squaring Neptune. I definately have a knack for falling in love with people who are either unavailable or broken birds.
What puzzles me is why Venus is said to be exalted in pisces, a sign ruled by Neptune?
NickC: i have the same aspect, in the same sign and houses. What you say rings true. I think if theres one planet that can do well/positively in the 12th is Venus. Every other planet would be skewed, impaired, “merkstave”, annoyed at the very least. I think the issue with your/my/our experience of venus in 12th, is that besides the square to neptune in the 9th (faith in love turned religious/philosophy?, intangible or rather unattainable distance?), the big F’ catch is… Venus is in detriment in Aries…? or that Aries 12th house sucks…? lol
I feel your pain, man.. i do…
I had to check off Yes! to each of the examples; married, gay, locked up, too far away, alcohoholic, except maybe the priest – unless you count the guy who became a priest after we split up. No rose colored glasses here – they are rose colored contacts – glued in permanently. Moon in pisces makes me fall in love with the potential – not the real thing. No aspect between venus and neptune. But a square between mercury and neptune.Could that be it? A grand trine in water kind of gives a sense of self-sufficiancy emotionally – I crave solitude and yet with taurus mars – venus conjunct in 7th house,I also crave relationship.
I’m getting way too old to keep pining away for something that will clearly never happen. Hate to say it, but am relieved to see so many others going through the same shit. Wish it wasn’t so and I hope you all can get clear of this in just one lifetime.
“…Moon in Pisces makes me fall in love with the potential – not the real thing. …” I couldn’t agree with you more, Sudie! I, too, have a Pisces Moon. That’s why I repeatedly believed him when he said he’d change.
Does Venus trine neptune and Pisces on the 7th house count??
Yes! 🙂
With Venus conjunct Neptune and a high sex drive as a man, one attracts women with BPD and NPD magically. You have to be very careful and to keep your Pluto and Saturn constantly awake.
The relationship I’ve been in for 13-14 years (I no longer know) has Neptune in composite chart on Descendant (in 7th house). I’ve always felt in this relationship that I’m not good enough because there are always some comments about how is this not done or why is it like this, etc. I have no doubt we love each other but it seems we do not see each other for real. ANyway, it seems to be slowly deteriorating into a friendship. Or something that is not a love relationship.
I’ll be contrary, lol. I don’t have a placement like this, and I’m quite okay with that!
This isn’t to say that I’ve never pined for someone “unrealistic.” But I see it for what it is. In one case, I developed a huge crush on someone who lives overseas. I actually went to see them and spent a night with them, as part of a larger vacation. I’m very glad I got to do that, even though I knew it had no chance of lasting! That was in the early days of Saturn in Sagittarius transiting my 7th house. The experience definitely expanded my perspective and gave me a better understanding of what I’m interested in.
There have been other times when I’ve been attracted to people who seemed unattainable, but I never expected anything out of them. I used them as motivation. It can be painful, but it’s better than living in a fantasy world.
My 9H Scorpio Neptune/Jupiter are conjunct asteroid “ex-husband’s first name” and quincunxing my 4H Gemini Mars. I bent over backwards for all his gaslighting ways! Never again!
I have this aspect (as well as Venus sq Uranus). I do fantasize about the relationship, but the one I imagine being “perfect” in order for the relationship to work is me, not him. I feel like I need to hide all the ugly “mundane reality” stuff.
I actually have the NN in the 7th and I have accepted that I will become fulfilled through a relationship or marriage, and I am worried about this Venus Neptune aspect.
Neptune 12th house Scorp opposite Venus in Taurus on my 7th house cusp. F’d up royally when Neptune conjuncted my Moon in Pisces, back in ’09 (opposite natal Pluto). Totally believed the lies of a narcissist. You warned me with some really tough love, Elsa, but it still took time for me to believe it. You are aces.
Thank you. 🙂
Well this made me smile. I have the 1st house 4th house square and spent quite a lot of time experiencing All of that. But in the end you have to deal with the drop whatever that brings, and if you’re in an otherwise strong relationship you just have to deal with it and still find your happiness.
There’s no point throwing it out for a life alone unless that’s what you really want. And being an artist often means you sacrifice art for reality or reality for art, and romantic love is part of that see saw.
I thank my stars nearly every day for a strong love despite its problems. Accepting less than perfection is wearing on the soul but you just have to look for the beauty and deal with the rest as best you can. And I like to stay optimistic rather than deluded these days. It’d be a sad life without a bit of sparkle along with the odd dirty sock. Thanks for this post, a great start to the day.
as always Elsa ..you nailed it … realizing im a Venus in Pisces 1st H Sq Neptune In Sag 10th house ..this manifests in my business relationship or my view of self as well..needless to say in the realm of Love and heart …did this Taurus boy come back with some MAJOR Karma and Reality checks thrown in , blessings to you again for sharing your wisdom to us Venus/Neptune souls who anguish in our own self made misery at times lol
Some people are more satisfied with pining.. if they get what they want, they find something wrong and shove it away. As soon as it’s gone, it’s shiny again…
There’s a song from this perspective called “Shots” by Imagine dragons
I confess! 12th house Venus in Pisces trine 7th house Neptune in Scorpio… plus, Venus is part of a tight stellium with Lilith, Saturn, & Chiron… Oh, and Neptune is conjunct my descendant, too. Currently in the middle of my Chiron return & in hell…is there a cure for Neptune Doom? 🙂 >^..^<
I once had a now ex-friend with the square aspect (venus in leo and neptune, scorpio) and it manifested, relationship-wise in this endless and exhausting cycle of idealisation, letting them move in with her after about a week, followed by a long and painful period of gradual disillusionment lasting years along with a whole lot of dramatics before she finally split with them. The men were either addicts, ex-prisoners, drug dealers or users. They invariably had no reliable source of income and she would support them financially which she resented until it gradually poisoned the relationship. She had absolutely no insight into it and would blame anyone and everyone but herself. They would lie to her, she would lie to herself, she would do the dirty on her friends for the sake of hanging on to these men. In the end I had to walk away from the friendship because it was affecting my health and wellbeing – she would regularly dump on me and take advantage of our friendship. She had no respect for boundaries.
In my experience, it can be a really onerous aspect and can wreak havoc with the friends, family and children of the venus-neptune person.
This is a really great article!!
I know what you are saying is true because it’s the same story over and over. I am Neptune in Libra 19 degrees,1st house, square Venus 21 degrees Capricorn in the 4th house. My husband of 23 years has Neptune in his 7th house (now ex husband) Any way to overcome the negative??????
Mine’s a little more complicated 😉
So while I have Venus trine Neptune, Venus is sextile ascendant; Neptune conjunct Descendant. And intensified with Saturn conjunct Pluto trine ascendant and sextile Descendant at the Venus/Neptune midpoint. And Venus is conjunct Vesta.
12th house Sun conjunct Venus, both square Neptune in Scorpio in the f**king 8th. At 56 I’m faithful & still up for absolutely anything erotic, but I married (for the last 30 years) a sexually very conservative girl who is now post-menopause and TOTALLY disinterested (if sympathetic). I guess i’m supposed to sacrifice sexual pleasure along with every other goddam pleasure. And now my TV signal is kaput, so I’m incandescent about everything.
This is accurate. I have Venus conjunct Neptune which is my closest aspect for a conjunction. My love life is a mess. I cant imagine what’s worst, venus conjunct uranus (dying for freedom) Venus conjunct Saturn (denying love) or Venus conjunct Neptune. I just cant catch a break. So I’ve done dating older ppl, long distance relationships, alcoholics, artists, disillusioned people etc. I ain’t gonna lie I want a happy life with someone who loves me, is that too hard to ask?? I tend to live in my head alot with love, imagining , amazing dates, the white picket fence and a guy who would be helplessly devoted to me.
At @Elsa what does it mean if my neptune in Capricorn is at the 13th degree (critical)? Does it make me more dilussioned?? Thanks
I’m sorry but I can’t answer your question with any authority. I have never spent time studying, “critical degrees”.
If you post your chart in the forum along with your question, someone will help. 🙂
https://elsaelsa.com/forum/
@Elsa thank you
Hello Janelle,
Venus conjunct Neptun is not as bad as you think and feel. The solution of the difficulties you can find in Saturn and Pluto. I have had a relationship with another Venus conjunct Neptun. The mirror can help a lot to develope.
Greetings,
Micha
** Love and all the best wishes to ELSA in this difficult time **
@Micha thanks. Maybe its my saturn then thats the issue. God I hate it !!
Whew.
What a trip. I’ve got Venus in 9 trine Neptune in 1 and they both sextile Pluto in 11. Nice lil triangle of woke/spiritual, intense and fantastical love. Lol.
Yes w/Neptune on my Asc I can let myself ‘feel’ what’s being emanated and run with that.
If you show me any kind of kindness or affection I can take dat home n make a whole affair out of it. Even when I’m with someone I can use them to fantasize about them right then n there.
It’s crazy.
Also with Neptune in 1st I’ve been as addicted n broken etc as those I’ve often chosen.
All wallowing in the mud of delusional love.
I’m glad I know this about myself so I can check myself at least when I feel I’m ‘slipping into darkness of surreality’.
I realize it’s part of my makeup so da best thing for me to do is make the best of it.
This is good, and truthful.
Got neptune in 7th house, also venus square Neptune with heavily fixed chart. Just recently got a jolt of “reality”. After 18 years