People Who Scare You While You Frighten Them!

Loud ItalianWe’re having a discussion in the forum about fear and dislike. I am trying to understand my own reactions in this regard.

I mentioned that people are afraid of me; I wish they weren’t. Several people said they don’t know why anyone would be afraid of me. I decided to make a post of this…

I do scare people and I think the reason is because I don’t always follow social convention. I probably would if I knew where the lines were.  For example, I moved to the South and I adapted by copying the manners of the locals which is necessary to function here, in my opinion. I mean, I do not set out to rub people the wrong way. I am not some self-centered rebel.

Now if this was not the internet, chances are I would be interacting with people who were somewhat like me?  Same neighborhood? I am from Tucson, AZ.  The people there are quite warm and friendly, or at least they were, back in the day. No one was afraid of me then.  But the internet is huge and far reaching.

Maybe the person has never met a loud Italian.
Maybe they have never heard so much swearing in all their life.
Maybe they don’t understand how in the hell I can not be like them…

I don’t know but I do think there are a lot of reasons – A LOT.

There is also the Mars Mercury factor.  It’s scares the hell out of people… this was established long ago.  I do not have this problem with video because there is more presented and I am actually quite yin, in person.  But I am some kind of Zorro with my words.

loud Italian friendIt’s difficult to address, because my writing comes natural to me and who knows what word or phrase is triggering? Like all Italians have to explain at one time or the other, “I’m just talking, here!”

My writing is also why people come here, even if they deny this. I think it has to do with attraction / repulsion on some level.

This is a true story – the man who edited my book was going to speak to me on the phone. He said it took him an hour to get his nerve up. I was STUNNED. This man’s website was in the top 10 of the entire internet at the time. WTF?  Further, he had a phone call with the President of Viacom later that day. He wasn’t worried about that at all.

So yeah. I scare people… and when this guy told me this (almost 20 years ago), I addressed the situation. I really had to look at this… I do not want people afraid to talk to me!

So really, if I used video, it would solve this for me, but I’m just not into it at the moment. I realize I have to do things I don’t want to do but when it comes to creative output, I like allow ideas to come to me organically.

Do you scare people or do they scare you, or is it both?  What’s your major malfunction? <- joke

22 thoughts on “People Who Scare You While You Frighten Them!”

  1. I have this, too. But it’s different. I’m okay with people being scared of me. It separates out the gutless types, which is great. I prob am a little on the spectrum and it’s hard for me to lie, and no one likes that. From a woman, to boot. I have sun close conjunct mercury in the 8th, opposite a moon in aries. Venus/saturn in the 9th. Pluto sq an aquarius asc. At the end of the day, I’m the self centered rebel. I make a very bad cult member/congregant.

    As far as people being afraid of YOU? I find a lot of folks are afraid of virgos. Even if a virgo is not outwardly critical and they exude warmth, self-loathing and insecure people know you can “see” them. Not a lot of ppl appreciate the truth reflected back at them. They’d rather some candy coated Reese Witherspoon gassing them up all the time.

    1. Maybe I scare some people, depends who I’m talking to. If I know them well, then I can be very passionate, moon in Aries, mars in scorpio. Some people say I appear angrier than I really am. How do they know how angry I am? I need to vent sometimes, maybe I should find someone who understands this and does not take offense? I flare, then it’s over, unless you really did something evil, then watch out!

      1. I can relate. I flare and fizzle out then I’m all smiles. Practically everyone I’ve ever been close with in life (mother, best friends, husband) are all moon in scorpio. They always complained about me being a hothead. Scorpio moon seething is like next level scary, if you ask me.

  2. I have encountered other astrologers who have in fact, actually yelled at me. Believe it or not, I was actually yelled at by the late great Noel Tyl, over the phone, shortly before he passed away. I have also been yelled at by nurses while attending nurses aide training classes. I think there are females in general who yell.

    I will forever remember my first phone consult with Elsa. She was still living in Colorado. I was hell bent on obtaining money. The only thing that surprised me about my reading with Elsa was her zeroing in on my Venus sextile Mars. She explained that what would really benefit me was a man, in particular, she used a term for male anatomy, but she used it very nicely, and recommended that finding a male partner would benefit me. I had been celibate for about 14 yrs., I had zero interest in finding a man. I asked Elsa about money, she indicated that she did not see money exactly coming my way for the time being. I did not place much faith in what she told me.

    The day that Michael Jackson died, I took my teenage son to a concert, located some hours drive away. I sat alone in the shade waiting along with other parents, while our kids waited in line to go in. Suddenly, I noticed him. I was intrigued. Something came over me, I forced myself on him and flirted like mad. Eventually, he excused himself to join his kids inside the concert hall. I didn’t think I would see him again, but went inside and walked in, and there he was. I didn’t let up, I sat next to him. During the concert, I asked him for a kiss. It was like lighting a stick of dynamite. I will remember it forever, I knew as I sat there, surrounded by strangers, kissing a stranger like my life depended on it. Despite him living several hours away, I managed to date him for an entire year before the guy who replaced him, knocked on my front door. Almost 13 years later, we are still very much together.

    Turns out that Elsa was right. I did need a man. I always recommend Elsa to anyone inquiring about astrology. I love Elsa, she is a national treasure. I love her style of tellin’ it like it is.

    1. Thank you! What a story!

      I will say whatever I see… I don’t know that I have ever said that to another single soul, ever. But it was looking at me, twinkling, I guess. 🙂

  3. Lol, my major malfunction is Gemini ascendant and within Gemini mars and uranus only minutes apart, mixed with saturn/venus conjunct only minutes apart in Cancer 2nd house, 0 degrees Mercury at exact nadir in Virgo. So, when my intent is heartfelt illumination, it’s often received as a button pushing put down, and when my intent is to gently disarm or redirect an attack it’s received as a rude verbal attack, sometimes as a threat.? Moon in Sadie exact opposite ascendent that often goes WAY over the head of whoever I’m talking with.Jupiter in Libra weighs responses I get with stark definitions. Best when i just recluse.

  4. I have told my Italian (American) husband to stop yelling when he is absolutely not yelling 😂😂😂 I’ve become a loud talker because of him however and I am not thrilled! But I have to be heard!

    Elsa, I have a similar problem with my writing style. It can be abrasive to some and people get triggered. However, my speech can as well. Perhaps it’s Pluto square my Mercury. I was not aware of it for the longest time. Now I am, but I can’t always control it or I sound weird, like I’m lying or something.

  5. I don’t know if this applies to the topic but, back in 2002 I started the second relationship of my life with a man from the capital of my country, I am from a small place in the province. When he met me he told me that he loved my simplicity, both in the way I am and the way I dress. Some time later he offensively shouted at me that I don’t know how to dress properly, femininely, which besides being absurd hurt me because I worked all day in his business, while I took care of the house, made food and personally attended to his elderly and disabled mother who usually vomited all over me or him. I dressed casually, to be comfortable.

  6. I would tune in to a video Livestream of you doing a reading of someone’s chart. Especially if the guest was hilarious.

  7. Avatar
    Deborah L. Strifler

    People have told me that they were really scared of me when we first met. I haven’t figured it out. I know that I am a serious person. Maybe that’s it.

  8. Growing up in a family with 3 rambunctious boys, I was taught to dial back aggressive behavior for my sister’s sake (the youngest). My Mom was the quiet type until old age! Funny but overly aggressive people really make me blush now that I’m older. I had to learn how to fight for myself all over again, especially in this time we are going through. Haha. My Dad was toned down by my Mom too, according to the before-the-kids stories we heard.

  9. I’m half Italian, have an Aries stellium and Mars in Sag; I’ve had boyfriends tell me they’re afraid of me. I’ve never been violent and rarely yell, either, so it’s always surprising to hear this. I’ve also been told that I’m loud when I’m not saying anything and just sitting on the couch. I don’t get it.

  10. I once had an acquaintance’s husband ask me ” why do people love to hate you”?
    I responded instantly, ” because I know what I know and no one can shake me from it” I’ve got that mars/mercury/neptune in scorpio thingy too(all in the 7th house with Sun) – There are very few people who surprise me – everyone has always let me down – I’m Libra, so I’m really nice too. On top of that Saturn and Jupiter in Capricorn in the end of 10th, and 11th house. I don’t understand it – but that I am so very different and my reality too, reflects it – you and I could go one on one with incidents and weirdnesses – but you’ve got that underlying savvy moxy of the hardened Bartender – you are not ever going to be a pushover – and people don’t like people who do not conform and just be like them for they are so good. The Forerunner, the FireBrand, the Leader of the Pack, the 10Percent, the 100th Monkey – THAT BE YOU. and it’s not that you’re so different from everyone else, you came in cleaner, more aware, less covered in the denseness of karma…is my take on it. And now is the time, where all people are to become aware, and clean – karma free….Christed. The Baptists say it’s the End Times. I think it’s certainly the Beginning of Something, Lol. I think you’re awesome for putting yourself ‘out there’ as you do. There is no denying your authenticity.

    1. “There is no denying your authenticity.”

      Thank you! I hope this continues to be obvious. In other words, I hope AI cannot fake a soul / hope people don’t become so impaired, they lose all ability to discern.

      I think the latter is a significant threat.

      1. Yes – Big Time – just watching the degradation of the human, back to the animal in this century. I honestly FEEL, think, – the Earth will not support such a monstrosity of ignorance – and that’s when we’ll get our global flushing. We’re the ‘3d stewards’ of the planet and if we mess up our sacred job well that’s that again.

  11. I couldn’t even scare a paranoid conspiracy theorist. Sagittarius rising, too open and approachable! People see me as really chill, I’ve had far too many people say how they feel so relaxed to be around me. I could be seething with apoplectic rage, and people would be like wow you’re so laid back and mellow 😂

  12. This is great, so many of the comments made me laugh! It’s hard to just be oneselves in this society of overt politeness and political correctness. I remember living in Houston for a while, being an ethnically Jewish New Yorker and everyone treating me with syrupy speech to my face, but stabbing me in the back. And my mother, who was the quite one to my father’s rages, was really the aggressor, took decades to figure that one out. Thanks Elsa et al!

  13. I agree with Roberta, Elsa and I would like to add a very simple thought to what has been said already. You say you scare people, Could it be your ENERGETIC presence Elsa, which is the sum total of who you are. The intense abuse you lived through and corrected makes you an intense individual.
    I wouldn’t sacrifice any of it just to make someone comfortable. Your a light for the community, if the light is to bright for some, that is there issue,

    1. Thanks, Jack. I want to say that my abuse is ancient history but I do like to talk about it and I’ll tell you why because I’ve not gone into it for some time.

      Prior to writing my book, maybe once a year, there would be a kid in the news who was beaten to death by a parent. Invariably, someone would talk me this, not knowing my history and I heard this over and over… “It was probably for the best.”

      R U F’ing kidding me? People think this! And it led me to write these stories to illustrate the person you think would be better off dead, does not agree!

      I wrote the stories so that people could see and could not deny, there is a person in their getting beaten, vitally alive, with thoughts and feelings and future ahead. I am not kidding you about this. Outside of being a people pleaser to the man who wanted me to write a book – this is MY PERSONAL reason for writing the stories.

      I think people should STFU about abuse victims and damage. This is another concept with a long history. I’ve written it but I don’t know how to find the piece. It goes like this…

      My sister (also horrifically abused) and I were in our 20’s, going to therapy. She’s a Pisces. She noted how all her friends, etc. felt sorry for her… but not for me. This was true of everyone. So it was weird. She chocked up to being Pisces…. she also knows astrology.

      Well, hell. How come no one feels sorry for me? She said I would not like it – she didn’t like it. She said that while they were all saying, “Poor you,” she was looking at them thinking, you’re 50 times more screwed up than I am… and it was the truth.

      People USE abuse victims, with their fake sympathy, but really it’s just a way to put us down, to be above us. Well, I got news! My sister and I can see you naked, as easy as we can blink!

      Back to the writing, I wanted to be a human because I am a human. I am not at all focused on abuse or my past. But I do think it is good for people to read this stuff, might open their eyes and shake their beliefs about these things.

      I also think it is literary and this used to be recognized, twenty years ago. Hemingway. My stories are world class and I know it. I don’t care how it sounds. They are TRUE!

      I found this, looking for the piece on my sister and sympathy. Another mortifying slice of life. 🙂

      Then I found the bit on my sister… it’s a 2 min video

      It was followed by this

      And I don’t know what else.

      What I am trying to say here is, my abuse is the focus of other. To me it’s been irrelevant for nearly 30 years.

      In fact, I have come to a point where I would choose my abuse over what is being done to most all kids today. I am not even remotely kidding about this and I tried to explain.

  14. I can relate to this. I have mars/Mercury too. I say what I mean and I mean what I say. I’m a fairly serious human with a bit of flair on the face. Cap sun, Leo ascendant. I think this bit gets people because they have to do a double take. It cracks me up bc I’m a small human with a small voice. My cheeks are chubby and I have soft curly blonde hair yet it never fails someone comes out of the woodworks saying I intimidated so and so. Perspective is wild. I also agree with the sum total of energy a person puts out. I think this truly matters. I don’t think everyone is keen to this but I think even people who don’t quite know what they are feeling can pick up on it.

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